Who wants to be loved more in the world? Imagine your work day and personal time is filled with people that cannot wait to work with you and look forward to having conversations with you. Your boss in this world respects you as a human being. Your spouse is giddy for you to come home and isn’t jealous of your time if you have to stay late at the office. Your kids are even jumping for joy when they see you and understand if you have to have important conversations with friends or with your boss sometimes. Overall, everyone around you loves and supports who you are and what you’re about no matter what.
This might sound like a fantasy utopia world, but it definitely is possible to create. You have to start being the one to do it for your family, for your bosses and co-workers, and for your kiddos and spouse. Be the first to say nice things about your spouse before they even ask you how they look in their new outfit. Be the first to acknowledge your kids coming home from school and ask how they’re really doing with their friends (go beyond just how are your grades and are you passing your tests?). Be the first at work to step up and take on extra projects that are in your areas of genius. I promise you, people will start stepping up their game, or they’ll move you into leadership positions, which then you can negotiate more pay and/or negotiate to have more time off to spend with your family if you’re adding more value to the marketplace.
The following blog is short and sweet impromptu writing from my heart to yours. We’ve got a big event on Thursday and my mentor Bill had asked me a few weeks ago to really think about what I wanted people to get out of the event. I’m glad he asked me key questions and helped me to have a laser focused on my intention. No matter how many people show up, my purpose is to help people feel hopeful during these uncertain times and feel loved from myself and my community members. The way I demonstrate my love is through bringing people together, entertaining and educating. So my mentors, friends, and family will be Edutaining you should you join our next Real Entertainment Therapy Experience®️ 2.0 Thursday 9am Pacific on Zoom. The following brief write up is in addition to or if you can’t make it to August’s RETE®️, a few tips to keep you feeling hopeful and loved no matter what.
Tip #1 On Keeping Fiercely Focused on Loving Others: Set healthy value boundaries
When you have clear values that are non-negotiables, people generally respect boundaries when you communicate the why behind them. For example, some of my non-negotiatiables from order of importance include: 1) Faith, 2) Family, 3) Friends, 4) Work (I put all 3 of my businesses and my day job in this bucket). If someone asks me to do something that is not in alignment with my faith, at my job, I will communicate with them or their boss why that does not work for me. If that does not fix the problem, then it goes to higher level management but generally when you speak about your values and/or write about them with faith involved, 99% of the time companies respect that as well as people in your life.
My first husband and I split because he made fun of my faith. We had a 6-month trial separation where he and I prayed together, we attended church together as a family and everything and during that time we got engaged. Then he decided one drunken night after we got married to make fun of my faith, told me that God wasn’t real and what a waste of time praying was. I kindly left the relationship without so much as a fight because he was #2 not #1 and tried to be more important than The Creator. I’m not even #1. I didn’t even list myself in my values because I am included in my faith with The Creator. I will not move or make any decisions without the okay from up above and I know The Creator looks out for me.
There was a time when I didn’t have much family I could reach out to in 2020. I was able to reach out to my Auntie Carol who is a prayer warrior and she gave me sound advice while I was stuck in another state unexpectedly and had to get a job, housing and everything when my home situation was no longer safe for me to live and I could not afford to stay in the same area when Covid tests were not being conducted. I wasn’t trying to die because of lack of medical information (asthmatic). It was my faith that protected and provided for me. People stepped into help me because The Creator sent them to help me.
One of those people believed so much in my mission because they had lost their son to suicide and were moving mountains to help me accelerate my brand. Unfortunately, they were in the #3 category and as soon as they started hearing all the connections The Creator was sending in my direction, they started competing for #1 and made some very poor decisions in their behavior that go against my core value of honesty and integrity. They were so upset at their own mother during their extreme depressive episodes they had made plans to kill their mom and I put a stop to that. Unfortunately authorities didn’t have the proper training in place to help someone in mental crisis and instead used brute force and I was left in the cross hairs to pick up the pieces without any communication from the authorities. They goofed and also erased my phone call to the non-emergency line. It’s okay though because I had the best protection in the world from a homeless veteran who later became my husband this past year. He and I never would have connected otherwise. He saw me holding my Bible walking into the safe house and the conversation started from there. #1 Faith trumps all always and forever.
Tip #2 On Keeping Fiercely Focused on Loving Others: Take care of yourself before giving any love away to humans
What I mean by that is make sure you have a routine in the morning where you fill your own love tank with things that will improve your mindset, improve your fitness, and improve your compassion for others. If you don’t have a morning routine, I encourage you to look into the Miracle Morning book by Hal Elrod and join the Facebook group. I joined the first year I had a smart phone back in 2015 and its grown like 1000% or so since then. It’s filled with positive people to help keep you accountable.
I have adapted my own routine through the various moves I’ve had to make unexpectedly and some by choice (like when I got married) so some I’ve kept from the MM and some I add because its what brings me joy. I always speak aloud to The Creator how grateful I am that they woke me up that morning. I also find a way to move my body which strengthens my mental health and releases endorphins which make me a kinder human to be around others. If I feel creative in the moment, I will sing on my keyboard and record a video to post and share my musical gift with the world 🌎 because enough people have told me they love to hear me sing. It also brings me joy to take a few minutes to do it. Its also free advertising for my concert and/or Real Entertainment Therapy Experiences®️ because everyone loves to taste and try out products and services before fully investing in them. Its my way to share a bit of my gifts without giving it all away 😉. Do what works best for you!
I imagine my niece draws in the morning before school and writes songs because she’s talented in those areas just like her daddy. I typically eat breakfast after my workout because I’m not hungry yet and have coffee with my scripture time. All in all this is usually an hour routine before I begin my day sometimes longer.
For me personally, I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression since I was 3 years old and my worst time of depression/angst is in the mornings. Some stability for me helps to strengthen my resiliency muscles so I can be even kinder to my colleagues and employees (past tense on employees (interns ;)) but will have in the future again). My husband tells me not to have a routine because you always have to EOS because his background is in protection and he has had to deal with all kinds of variables that aren’t positive (literal life and death situations) so I learn to flex my resiliency muscles and don’t always have the routine I just shared with you during heightened levels of stress. I usually will exercise MORE during those times and make time just like doctors appointments because its what builds my confidence and will help me to be war ready just in case some bad people infiltrate our country or whatever craziness I’m getting trained on. Grateful for all the Veteran and First Responder protectors that have my 6.
Tip #3 On Keeping Fiercely Focused on Loving Others No Matter What: Give grace often
People make mistakes (even this girl writing this blog). Give others grace and forgive often because it makes it less stressful to work around you. If people are putting pressure on you, dance with them. Joke around with them and meet them where they are at with their intensity. There is this technique I learned from Tony Robbins called Mirroring. If someone is raising their voice at you, raise yours back and ask them questions like, WHY ARE WE YELLING? They’ll usually laugh once they realize what you’ve said and calm down. If that doesn’t work, or if they are liars that don’t take accountability ever, send them emails and CC their boss or your boss and their boss because shifty people are poisonous to organizations and to families. We can still give them grace but from a lonnnnnnnnng distance.
For me personally, I’m giving grace to the man that took payment over the hit on my life. I know who paid him because I introduced them. She had conned her way into making me believe she was a minister (she showed me her PhD Certificate and everything), and tricked me into believing that she wanted to volunteer out of the goodness of her heart to write a song together. The Enemy comes to steal, lie and destroy through any means necessary. She also told me that this particular person was easily manipulative and she could get him to do anything and he’d never be tried for any crime because of the secret security group he’s affiliated with. I didn’t know anything about this group I just enjoyed the experience I had connecting professionally and the nonprofit he founded was a really great cause.
I know his background prior to this nonprofit now because the woman that paid him and her husband told me about his secret group after the fact and they told me not to be associated at all with him because of what he used to do for the United States of America. I’m sorry but we all have jobs to do and if he wanted to do a job to protect our country, it might not be a glorious one, but at least he’s not trying to get free handouts. Sadly, they used his background and tricked him into taking the payment by pouring lies into him just like they tried to do to me.
They told me they were affiliated with the richest people in the world (which is also where The Enemy loves to spend their time) and I was naive during the Pandemic thinking what they told me was the truth about wanting to help me grow my businesses through donations #NaiveLessonLearned.
I’ve since learned a lot about reading people from my husband and am still learning but I can tell you one thing. I don’t blame the man who took payment. I have forgiven him already even if he doesn’t get me connected to our top level government officials. However, my husband might not be so forgiving. You see my husband was one of his mentors that trained him. Sadly this man decided to try and destroy my marriage and separate us from each other after taking payment over my life and took my friend from college to Mexico after trying to cheat on his wife with me #Disgusting. I didn’t know he was married as we had just met in 2020 and he told me he was providing me security detail protection as a friend. Sadly, it was all BS but I was grateful he introduced me to my husband at least.
Flash forward 2 years later and I’m ready to be reunited with my husband again. I’m giving this man grace, tons of it actually because its been almost 2 full years since the incident and my website has been completely locked up because of this man’s decision to steal from me and try and take me out by making it look like a murder suicide. We can give grace and still take people to court. I’m praying on that part still and have another year to decide fully.
Most people would probably say to themselves, why wouldn’t this woman want to put this man in prison? Why would she be willing to forgive this man? I’m willing to forgive anyone 70×7 just like Jesus said in the Bible. One of my mistakes is just as equal to his choice. It might not have the same level of punishment in our world’s standards but in the spiritual realm, The Creator weighs it all the same. I even give grace to the woman who paid to take me out. I believe she can listen to my podcast behind double locked doors and not have access to hitting any buttons on the smart devices and not be able to email or communicate with any decision makers in the world. But I don’t want her destroyed like she tried to destroy me. I believe we all need grace, myself included.
Because I have survived this experience I do not put up with much in the workplace now. I’m actually in process of finding a therapist because of the PTSD that the man and woman caused in my life. I take full ownership on my part and was experiencing some flashbacks in my work vehicle the other day because of the technical glitches that ensued. I spoke up about it to my boss and the GM and they provided me some resources to get connected to EAP providers. I haven’t been able to find one available yet but at least I’m doing my part to get the mental health support needed during this time I’m separated from my husband. I encourage you if you’re going through a challenging time, give grace to others that you might not think deserve it, and try and get to know their story. I promise you it’ll either get better and you’ll get closer, or it’ll be clear that they’re a person you’re supposed to love from a distance.
In conclusion, there are a few things you can do to keep fiercely focused on loving others more. Keep your values clear and in the forefront of your life decisions. Keep self-care in your regular routine. Keep giving grace to others and yourself so that your heart is capable of loving others more and thus loving yourself more just as The Creator has intended.
If you enjoyed this blog today, it would mean the world to me if you’d donate to our non-profit arm, Erin Nicole Ministries and help us expand the Zoom Space for Thursday’s event and/or December’s event if you’re reading this after August 18 2022. We need approximately $10,000 for August’s event including top level leaders from: Disney, USPS, US Air Force Musician that performed for a previous Super Bowl, International Musician from X-Factor Denmark, Humble Alpha Founder that is a former Guest VJ off of MTV, US Army Retired LTC and myself Edutaining with original content (either speech or music) to help improve the treatment of people and patients with depression for our most sensitive populations in the world: Veterans and First Responders.
Thank you in advance for your support
PS: Don’t forget to tell someone you love them today
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