Have you ever had a time when you needed a friend so badly and you reached out for help and they showed up? How did that feel for you? I know I have had some really powerful friendships through the years with people my age, younger, and even older. Merriam Webster defines a friend in 6 different ways: 1) one attached to another by affection or esteem, 2) one that is not hostile, 3) one that is of the same nation, party, or group, 4) one that favors or promotes something (such as a charity), 5) a favored companion, and 6) a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war.
It doesn’t matter which of the 6 you use to define the friendships in your life. I believe we all can agree that everyone needs a friend they can count on in tough times. The following blog is all about building strong friendships for those that might be struggling; perhaps you’re feeling a little lonely or feeling lousy after a friend betrayed you (like I had this past fall). Perhaps Covid is really kicking you in the teeth and you’re feeling isolated. No matter how lonely you’re feeling, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I care about you and so do SO many people. Sometimes it takes US to take the first step and reach out to others when we’re feeling lonely ourselves. Included in this blog are personal and professional experiences, what science says about building strong friendships and some fun GIPHYs to lighten the mood. If you stay to the end you’ll be provided a gift to help you build strong healthy friendships and move towards your own happiness 😊.
Supernatural Power #1: 
Know what it looks like to build healthy friendships!
It’ll look different depending on your age group. I have been blessed to be able to work with preschoolers all the way to elderly people in their 80s. What I found to be consistently true is those that we associate most often and spend most time with are how we tend to behave ourselves. We are socially influenced by who we choose to be around. So ask yourself what are your core values? Honesty and integrity are mine.
Once you identify your core values then start searching it out perhaps through church, networking events, or at work. If you’re completely isolated right now because of covid-19, there are a lot of great online groups one in particular was recommended from my latest podcast guest Tamar Weinberg called EOOD (exercise out of depression) on Reddit I signed up this week! It’s free and I’m still learning about it. It’s kinda like a communication forum with people posting advice and asking for help.
Post on Facebook and tag me where you find the healthiest friendships for a chance to be recognized on ALL my social media 💜 My handle is @TheRealMoveHappy btw 😉
Supernatural Power #2 Know what evidence is proof you need to work on your friendship or make new friends!
Take inventory right before you go to bed when you’re alone with your own thoughts. Pay attention to how happy you feel and how easy it is to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night. Are you sleeping soundly? If you’re able to sleep through the night chances are those who you are associated with are adding value to your life. However if you are struggling and feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’re surrounding yourself with someone that just doesn’t jive with your values then do an inventory check.
Sometimes people come in and out of our lives for a season and there’s a purpose for them coming into our lives. Sometimes there’s people that we need to make amends with… maybe we need to apologize to. So whatever that is for you check in with yourself.
I found a really interesting article on this topic that I think you will enjoy from the Mayo Clinic. I love the first bullet about the benefits of building friendships that states “Increase your sense of belonging and purpose.” How many of us lost our sense of purpose in 2020? How about a reset in our purpose and what drives us in 2021?! Who’s with me? 🤗
Check out the article here and post your insights and reflections on Instagram and tag me for a chance to be recognized on ALL my social media channels. My handle is @TheRealMoveHappy btw 😉
Supernatural Power #3: Know what the global power of having healthy friendships is!
Everyone needs a good friend. Whether you are the President of the United States, you need your counsel. Whether you’re a preschooler and your single parent mom had to move to a new area and you’re in a new school, you need to make friends. We all need friendships that are healthy for our well-being. I did some research on empirically based data, which means that it is evaluated at University level from Doctors that specialize in this area.
There is a positive impact of having healthy friendships as well as the negative impact of having friendships that are not healthy. If you choose to associate with people that are not in alignment with your values or things of the law, overtime you will slowly begin to assimilate their style. Check out the research here. I especially love the practical solutions listed in the abstract: “Possible practical solutions include new social network technologies for reducing loneliness combined with continued reliance on phone communication as an intervention of psychological support to promote a healthy lifestyle and prevent malnutrition.”
In laymen’s terms that means all you people that didn’t know about the Zoom app are hopefully well versed as almost all schools and companies signed up that didn’t know about it prior to 2020 😆. Those older than 45+ PLEASE have your camera at eye level or above as we don’t want to see inside your nose! 😂 Those showing up late to church MUTE YOURSELF as the congregation hears your kid crying in the backseat 😆. It’s not personal, it’s EXTREMELY personal now with technology coming to our homes for work and play. Do Not I repeat Do NOT poop 💩 on camera. Its happened too many times and I want to help you keep your friends 😂 😂 😂 and not be the laughing stock of those terribly mean websites!
In all seriousness, I have done my best in my content and in my action to build community over the course of my lifetime. In 2020 I launched a few zoom networking meetings with some of my connections I met either as my podcast guests, or through applying for jobs when I had to move unexpectedly. One of my friends used to be the private chef for Tony Robbins #NoJoke! He’s super cool and I got to meet his daughter digitally too and we chatted about adding value to the world. He just launched his own TV Series on YouTube and Invited me as a guest anytime! Freaking phenomenal. I made sure I am not the one cooking 😂
I have dealt with depression since I was a young child and have had incredible mentors and friends help me when I feel low. I recognize that not everyone has had the blessings I’ve had in social networks. In the Bible, Hebrews 13:6 ESV it says: “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” I am no theologian by any means. I was blessed with parents that brought me to church every week as a child so I could hear messages on repeat until they are instilled within my soul. I had a challenging time remembering things I read as a child because of the abuse I went through. However, God provided me with ears that hear and a memory tied to what I hear #Grateful.
I work intentionally daily to be a better version of myself and apply all those weekly lessons I learned as a child into being a kind and loving human being. I might not be able to change the world myself, however I can make a positive difference in my small circle and that can make a positive ripple that spreads. I desire to connect with other like minded humans (Christians or other) that want to add kindness and love to the world. If this message rings true for you, please connect with me on all social media or shoot me an email that you found this blog 🤗. I’ll do my best to respond to every email personally within 72 hours (pending internet speeds 😆).
Please share your insights, “Ah-Ha” moments, questions and advice on LinkedIn and tag me for a chance to be recognized on ALL my social media channels. Btw my business profile on LinkedIn is @Move-Happy®️ the lavender and gray logo 😊.
Supernatural Power #4: Know some simple ways to make healthy friendships with ease!
If you’re struggling finding or creating healthy friendships you’re not alone. I struggled with this a long time as being a product of homeschooling does not create positive social structures. However I am very good at studying by myself LOL, making music 🎶 by myself, going to the movies by myself (pre-covid), driving by myself, and pretty much anything by myself. 
I’ve had to learn as an adult from others how to make friends to help grow my business and also to protect me when I was going through my divorce. My ex moved our entire bank account illegally, canceled my medical insurance through the school district illegally and I was stuck penniless. 
Friendships can help you keep your sanity and help cover your medical bills unexpectedly when you hit a 🦌 whoopsie! #RealTalk
Here’s a tip I’ve learned from one of my mentors in my past direct sales business Neora from Danette, find something to compliment on someone else. Maybe you like the way they did their hair that day or maybe they have a cute purse. Be the first to say something nice in an authentic manner and allow the conversation to go from there. I know it sounds super simple but it works! If you’re being fake they can smell that a mile away so make sure your compliment is sincere.
I started applying her advice when I was going through my divorce process and needed to make income. I didn’t want to sound desperate as that isn’t an attractive quality. The products I was selling are high end so I had to connect with high paying customers that care about their appearance. A friend of a friend introduced my to a plumbing business owner and we all had a fun hot tub party at his house with him and his wife. We connected on Facebook and he kept seeing me compliment others and hustle. He reached out and told me he loves my tenacity and my “Do Whatever It Takes” attitude. He said he wanted to look younger as his wife is super hot and he’s had a lot of sun damage with his career. He asked me to come to the house and go over the products with him. I did and guess what?! HE BOUGHT EVERY SINGLE PRODUCT! I wasn’t expecting a sale from a hot tub party. I was busy making friends, being authentic and grateful for the intro from my friend. He might be mad at me for calling him out but those of you in the Western Washington area that need plumbing services reach out to him directly here 😆. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission sometimes 🤷♀️
I would love to hear your ideas and Solutions to making friends on Twitter. Tweet me @MoveHappyTeam. The best and most creative ideas will be retweeted! Btw congratulations to Premier Moms @PremierMoms for sharing your tips of: “Consistency, openness, and showing love when you disagree.” Keep up the great work for mamas!
Move Happy®️ Updates:
The Move Happy Movement Podcast©️ is going strong. Check it out on iTunes , podbean Spotify, and someone added it to Listen Notes #NotMe 😂. We are going strong thanks to YOU! No ads, no bots creating fake downloads. You are spreading the word! I hope to help at least 1 person a day with the guests I bring or when I talk about important leadership topics by myself. Thank you for helping spread the mission of empowering depressed people globally to find their own happiness through mindset, community and fitness!
Once we hit 10,000 downloads I’ll be hosting a Private VIP Concert For Those Consistently Sharing Move Happy®️Content and writing reviews on iTunes! 💃 Check out where our downloads are at now ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Supernatural Power #5: Know how Move Happy® can help you build healthy friendships!
Maybe you facilitate groups and right now your members, your patients or your students, whoever your audience is, are struggling right now. Perhaps everybody is stuck at home because of the covid-19 numbers. 
Whatever your situation might be, I would love to give you a free gift. I do sell this in my shop ($49 value) however with everything going on in the world I feel compelled to help as many people that are struggling with negative self harm thoughts.
Depression and/or depressed states make us isolate ourselves which is not how we’re intended to be. I know because I have been dealing with depression since at least 3 years old. I don’t even want that to be an issue for you or your friends. I want you all to start thinking on positive healthy things. Part of my solution is a journal I designed for my patients in a live-in psychiatric hospital.
What I noticed in the hospital during our 10-minute break between morning and afternoon groups were patients laying on the ground, isolating themselves, and lots of sad sad faces. Sure some of the patients chatted with each other or staff members, but for the most part they kept to themselves. Hall security was supposed to call them out by name and ask them to stand. Some of the patients were elderly and needed to sit every now and then and would sit in the hall way chairs, but many others laid down and feel asleep. Much of their medications made them drowsy. If they were new in our hall or if their treatment team wanted to try a different medication, sometimes it took time for their bodies to adjust and their energy was low. Other times patients’ bodies naturally would go through cycling where the level of medication was no longer effective and they would need adjustments and accordingly their energy was low.
I experienced so much love and kindness from the patients and staff as a new team member there. My father passed away my 3rd day in the treatment mall with patients. I didn’t have any sick leave built up. I wasn’t planning on losing a parent. I wasn’t planning on divorce finalizing a couple months prior. I was beyond stressed. I drove for Uber and Lyft before and after work just to cover basic bills. I also was hustling my direct sales business but was in the pre-school stages of learning business. I had so much internal stress I developed terribly icky rashes on the backs of my thighs that I ignored for a few months. I couldn’t afford to take time off of work for a doctor’s appointment until I built up sick leave so I started volunteering on holidays and worked on the wards. I started learning all the patient names and staff members that didn’t work in our treatment mall. I had worked on writing my first book over the course of the previous year and released the book Whole Life Affirmations 3 days after my father passed. I needed some joy in that painful time.
I found out from a friend you can print author’s copies off of Amazon for like $4 each and sell them for more and make some money. I decided to give my boss a free copy so she could have some insight on who I was and demonstrate how grateful I was to have a full time job. I wasn’t planning on her announcing my book release to the entire staff of our treatment mall and a few staff members that worked on the wards. I sold all 10 copies that week after that and it helped cover my rent! 😆 #ToughTimes. I also wasn’t planning on one of those staff members, Mark buying the book from me, reading it to the patients that weren’t eligible to going down to the treatment mall yet. The patients started learning about me and about those that have influenced and shaped who I am today. Everyone knew who I was in a short amount of time. I am so grateful for the staff that supported me and the patients that were so kind to me.
The next few weeks were filled with daily check-ins from patients asking how I was doing? “Hey Erin I heard about your father passing, I’m so sorry for your loss. My father passed away a few years ago and it was really tough. I’m here if you ever want to talk.” I was getting love and counsel from those that I was in charge of 💜. I got a drawing from one of my female patients. She walked up to me in the hallway during our break time and said, “Erin I noticed you dance 💃 a lot. I thought you might like this.” It was a picture of a woman dancing in a beautiful gown. It made me entire week! Actually it made it 5 years because that’s how long that memory has been in my mind 😊. There were dozens of other positive moments from the patients and staff that helped to bring healing to me during one of the most challenging seasons of my life. I was compelled to give back to them.
So I started observing and being intentional about how I could add value in the hospital. I noticed the fitness/wellness group could use some upgrading. I also knew the power of journaling and positive psychology/resilience practices from my professional and educational experiences. So after getting approval from my boss Sue, I went to work researching (like the literature review I did in graduate school). I didn’t find any programs that combined the two domains of exercise and journaling/group discussion so I decided to create something for the patients and staff. All content was approved by my professional medical based colleagues before I implemented anything. My colleague and licensed mental health therapist Sayaka co-facilitated it and provided me feedback throughout the 3 rounds we ran the 16- week program. She gave me great advice in regards to returning patients. She asked how I can keep it from getting mundane and boring for returning patients? So I incorporated additional deeper level questions for those that are a bit more cognitively advanced and/or if you run the program with returning patients/students/friends. The deeper level questions are indicated by “( ).”
There was so much interest in the group, we maxed capacity. We had patients on a waitlist they couldn’t even get in our group because of the fire marshal laws. So we started passing out extra copies of the Move Happy Participant Journal©️ to patients that were requesting it through word-of-mouth. Click the link here to get your free copy. It’ll link you up to my email list and share some personalized advice and positive psychology/fitness science to your inbox. It’s really geared towards mental health practitioners and/or group fitness facilitators. However I will be adding more family content to the email list soon so if you’re a mom or dad or plan on being one, make sure to stay connected!
Directions For Journal Use: 1) Have fun! 2) Read and write 1 journal prompt per day M-Thurs style, 3) get a friend or two to join in and have some discussion in person if your Covid numbers are good or online using zoom or other communication methods, 4) then workout together doing your favorite physical activity, exercise, sport or dance! We were limited with a $100 budget split between 15 staff so we did it with very minimal equipment. Google search “Bodyweight Workouts” for ideas or if you’d like to purchase my ready for your Move Happy Facilitator Program©️ you can check it out in the shop.
At the psychiatric hospital we did each day all under 1 hour but feel free to adapt it to your situation 
. I know when I was a PE K-12 Teacher most elementary schools have 30 minutes 1x/week so it might be more beneficial for the classroom teacher to incorporate it as a “writing/empathy” curriculum and add bursts of exercises for the kiddos based on their interest and your sanity 😂.
In middle school and high school levels that have class 5 days a week I recommend doing the journal prompt during attendance time and those that are done doing their journal may begin walking around the perimeter of the gym to signal they’re done writing. The students that are warming up near each other can begin discussing their responses with each other and after about 5-7 minutes of warming up and 1:1 discussions throughout your class bring them in for a brief check in and ask for a few to share their responses. Edify them, and ask for deeper reflections throughout the class as you begin demonstrating the workout of the day. As a closure activity during the warm-down have the students discuss again more ways of incorporating their ideas from the journal prompt. After about 5 minutes of a warm-down have the students return to their attendance spots for their stretch time and ask them to vote on the top ideas shared for the day. Those that get voted as top 1-3 ideas can get a Move Happy Trophy©️ or gift certificate for Starbucks (pending your budget).
We should be rewarding kind behavior and those that are bringing their best ideas to your community you serve. When you reward the behavior wanted, others will see and it’ll shape the culture in the group. Any inappropriate responses over time will be shamed by the group as a whole if you are leading your group well.
If you are an English or foreign language teacher perhaps you can incorporate translating the questions into other languages as a fun challenge for your students. If you’re a music teacher, you can incorporate song writing ideas as responses to the questions. Not only will it engage your students in your subject areas more, it’ll spark creativity that could even turn into copywriting opportunities for students to earn incomes on before they graduate high school! Of course get parents permission and things like that. Imagine the stress level of parents right now and how you could literally change the trajectory of their families by empowering your students to use their gifts/talents in careers they’re most passionate about? That’s what Mr. C did for me. I still can’t believe I got to sing for the Governor of Hawaii, sing at the NBA Sonics game, and sing on stage inside of Disneyland for ALL PATRONS TO SEE all under the age of 18! Is it any wonder why I am such a big dreamer? Nothing good happens alone. We must work together to bring the pursuit of happiness back into the hearts of American children and if you’re reading this in another country, the pursuit of happiness does not need to stop at our borders!
I love you all!
Email me testimonials of using the Move Happy Participant Journal©️ if you love it! And/or ideas to make it even better 
. I will personally respond to all emails and the BEST testimonials will be shared on ALL my social media and included in next week’s blog! You’ve got until end of day Friday 5p EST to qualify 😊.
So there you have it folks! Building strong healthy friendships is not only fun and healthy for us, it’s necessary for survival. Building healthy friendships can be challenging but it’s not impossible. There are no overnight successful friendships that have lasted the tests of time. Building friendships takes consistent work, transparency, shared values, and commonalities. Imagine how much kinder the world would be if we all got along? I am reminded of the good man I watched on TV growing up; Mr. Rogers. Let me end with this, “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood, won’t you be my neighbor?”
PS: Don’t forget to tell someone you love them today
PPS: It would mean the world if this blog did anything for you in adding value to your life please share it with someone you care about.
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