Are you in college or new to the work field? If so, you’re experiencing one of the biggest transitions in your life. Congratulations 🎉. For some, this is a very challenging time mentally as their brains are continuing to grow and their emotions are finding ways to balance new life challenges. It is estimated that 1 in 20 are diagnosed with depression worldwide. That means that 1 in 20 of you reading this blog today could be in college and could also be struggling with your own mental illness.
This blog is all about college and young working adults and also having depression. I write about what science tells us, some very personal experiences (including some sexual violence. *May Cause PTSD Trigger Warning*), and try my best to keep things light with some fun GIPHYs. If you stay to the end I share about a program I am really blessed to have been inspired to create.
Truth #1: Awareness Is Key To Perspectives Globally on Depression
How many people are in college or attending a university worldwide? ⠀
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According to my google search, over 192 countries have enrolled in private and public schools 56.7 million students. ⠀
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That’s a LOT of people! ⠀
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It is estimated that 1 in 20 are affected by depression so approximately 283,500 students are struggling with depression and attending a college or university worldwide. ⠀
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I was the 1 in 20 in my college & a young working adult. My grandma was dying of ovarian cancer my freshman year. I had started a job at a local grocery store, and was in the college choir and full time student. Everything around me was new and it was really difficult to process all the changes going on. I was very close with my grandma and anytime I was away from her I had this internal guilt that I needed to spend more time with her. My parents were kind enough to include me on rides to visit her during her final weeks.
My depression and anxiety was so overwhelming my bosses at the grocery store pulled me into their office. The store director and grocery manager were the top two running the place. They said I was really nice but taking too much time making peoples orders (I had 2 days of training as a barista then left on my own). They offered to move me to the gas station because they thought it would be easier on me and on the customers 😂. I thought it would be great I can do homework at work and make money 💰. I didn’t say anything to them about my grandma because I was so new there.
Later I found out my dad went in and talked to the grocery manager. That store was one of his stops for his job. He thanked her for not firing me and giving me another chance and explained what was going on at home. He told her that I probably didn’t share it with them because I get quiet when I’m stressed and get more into my studies. Getting quiet at home is my tell, and dad’s too. I was so mad at my dad for talking to my bosses. I was an adult now and wanted to handle it on my own 😆. Looking back, I’m so grateful he stepped in because I did need them to understand I was struggling with my first real job besides my paper route of 9 years and my mouse business. College, new real job, balancing schedules and my grandma dying was hard. It was okay to not be okay. I love my dad for that. 💜 #MissHim
On days where I was really struggling I would journal more, do more of my home work to get ahead, and spend time with my family (I lived 5 miles away from my parents during my undergraduate experience). I was also pretty connected to my church at that time and I’d attend either a Saturday evening service or Sunday morning (if I wasn’t scheduled to work). I connected with the church behind my undergrad’s college age group called “20 somethings group” of college and working adults. That became one of the strongest reasons keeping me in college (because of the social support, fun recreational activities, and weekly spaghetti dinners 😋). It’s where I met Jason and Serge, my best guy friends. We’d meet weekly for Bible lessons and discuss how we could apply the lessons in our community to being better citizens. I’m so grateful for all the people I met through this group.
The thing about depression is that it can isolate you. If you join a group of people you can connect with on a consistent weekly or monthly basis, it gives you something to look forward to and helps you overcome the power that mental illness can have over your life.
Truth #2 Recognize That Crisis Can Occur On Campus & Be Aware
How many are affected by depression in college? ⠀
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According to the National Alliance on Mental Health, ⠀
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➡️ 73 percent of college students with a medical condition will experience a crisis on campus ⠀
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but only ⠀
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➡️ 34 percent of colleges are aware of it. 🚨 ⠀
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Yikes! 😬 ⠀
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Check out this article for ways to be more aware if you have concerns for your friend or family member. Some of the common signs are homesickness, poor body image, financial stress, drug or alcohol use, or social media use.
The solution for financial isn’t to just send money their way parents. If possible, have a conversation about their spending and their income coming in. I’m grateful my father encouraged me to get a job while also in school. It was one of the hardest transitions my first year but taught me to manage my time well. My friends that had checks written for their tuition struggled once they graduated and I got to practice during the years before students loans were due 😂 .
I learned how to prioritize my time, and how to not spend money frivolously because I was earning $7.25/hour and no I wasn’t going to buy a $50 shirt. That’s 8 hours of work! I may have had to change into my work clothes at the stop 🛑 light on the way to work. It taught me to plan ahead! I had spandex shorts under my jeans. I’d literally put it in park at the light and slide my black dress slacks 🤣. I was always running to work or running back to school.⠀I never wasted a minute when I had to prioritize my work schedule, school schedule and choir schedule (I was on a scholarship 💴).
Alcohol wasn’t an issue until I got closer to 21. I was at a dry campus and lived at home my first year. My parents didn’t drink alcohol so it wasn’t around. I was working or going to school or choir rehearsal so I didn’t have time to get into mischievous activities 😂. If you go to a wet campus (alcohol allowed) I’d be prepared to have conversations around alcohol and depression. It really does exacerbate your mood. If I’m feeling more depressed, I do not drink any alcohol. Awareness is key.
Truth #3 Know What Organizations To Get Advice From In Regards To Depression
Tips for managing depression & improving mental health according to NAMH: ⠀
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1) get enough sleep (varies for everyone but the military recommends soldiers get 7-8hrs so I’d follow their regimen)⠀
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2) move your body ⠀💃 🏊♀️ 🏃♀️ 🧘♀️ 🏋️♀️ (whatever you enjoy doing 😉)
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3) get a proper diet (if income is a stress, find local churches nearby college- they often will do a Spaghetti feed weekly for free, or volunteer at a food bank on a Saturday and oftentimes they’ll give you a week’s worth of groceries for helping out) ⠀
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4) avoid drugs or alcohol, (maybe not all the time if you’re feeling good one day and want to relax with a friend & 🍻, but on those stressful sad days, skip the 🍺 and 📓 or something instead because alcohol exacerbates your current mood, adds to the Freshman 15, and costs 💰)⠀
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5) practice mindfulness, ⠀
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6) build a support system⠀(meetup groups, or check with your RD/RAs on campus for social events)
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If you have any other suggestions of what works for you or your loved ones, tweet me @MoveHappyTeam
Truth #4 How to talk about depression in college or university or maybe if you’re young to the work world. ⠀
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Dr. Alcee provides some great ideas to get the conversation started with depression in this article. Whether you confide in a friend or speak to a specialist its important to not isolate yourself. Some colleges even have support groups on campus. ⠀
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I remember when I was in college finals was a stressful time for all so they set up relaxing activities for us in the cafeteria area. They gave away healthy snacks, and had fun crafting activities or art tables to sit at.
My senior year was especially stressful as I was finishing up classes, had a full work load maxed credits for the semester taking philosophy and my major credits. I enjoyed the philosophy lectures because apparently I’m very philosophical. However, the reading expectation was out of this 🌍 🤣. I am such a literal person, I read every single page assigned. One of the authors was so difficult to understand, it took me 8 hours one week just to complete it because I told myself I was going to understand it by looking up every word in my pocket dictionary that I didn’t know (no smart phones back then 😂 for me at least).
I also had been promoted at the end of the summer to a manager at the pool on campus. Titles can add pressure just from their name. It wasn’t a hard job, but it could be, should there be a medical emergency in the pool on my shift. I was responsible for making sure patrons were safe, counting the till, managing the life guards, and inventory check.
I didn’t have much time for anything other than work, school, eat and sleep and needed an outlet for my stress. I had met a soldier the year before through MySpace. For those of you that don’t know what MySpace is, it was one of the first social media websites that everyone had a profile on. It wasn’t a dating site but people used it to connect in a variety of ways. The year before I had attended a party with him and had a decent time. He was gorgeous, fit and interested in me. He disappeared though to fight overseas somewhere. He kept it hush hush. 🤫 I had forgotten about him because he didn’t give me an email or indicate he wanted to see me when he returned. Then one day during this busy stressful semester he reached out and asked me if I wanted to go on a date, he was back from overseas. I knew I didn’t have time but the interest was there for some fun in my life. I said, “sure what’d you have in mind?”
He said something about going for a ride around town and grabbing a bite. We had a decent time so I agreed to see him again the next weekend. This time my friend joined and his buddy joined. We goofed around and played some darts and what not. It wasn’t something to call home about but it was a temporary relief to my stress. I knew I was still busy with school and didn’t want to get so caught up that my grades slip or lose my sleep over some guy (I love my sleep 😂). I just kind of went with the flow. The following weekend he asked if I wanted to be exclusive and I was thinking, “dude I barely have time for you, who else am I going to date?” 😆. I was kinda giddy even though I was super busy. I said yes. He asked me to come over to his buddies and we’d have drinks across the way and they had karaoke. He knew I loved to sing. That’s when it all went south.
He ordered me a Washington Apple. I sang some Mariah and everyone loved it. I was offered free drinks in the room from other people (its pretty normal if you sing well, people want to thank you by keeping you having a good time). I knew I had to drive home though and was only going to have 2 drinks max for the evening. I kept true to my 2 drinks max and told soldier boy, I was going home afterwards so no doubles. I asked him to hold my drink while I went to the bathroom. After all, he was my boyfriend. I could trust him right? The week before, I had told him I was a virgin and if he wanted to date me, he had to respect that I was waiting for marriage to have sex. He said that was fine and he liked the idea.
The rest of the evening was a blur. I finished the drink when I got out. I started to get very drowsy. I remember him walking us both to his friends apartment because I couldn’t drive now. I had had plenty of nights with friends and 2 drinks over the course of like 4-5 hours was no problem. This was different. I remember him being very persistent on getting my clothes off, in the shower and on this cot in the living room. I woke up to condoms on the ground, everything in my feminine parts tender. I was naked. I felt so ashamed. I didn’t know if we had sex but everything in my recollection of the blurry memories and the soreness I felt told me we did. I woke him.
“Hey __________, what happened last night? Why are my clothes off and why are there condoms on the ground?”
He said, “a total waste.”
I said, “what do you mean?”
He said, “you kept telling me no when we were getting into the good stuff.”
GETTING INTO THE GOOD STUFF?!
I looked at him and told him, “we had a conversation last week about my wishes. You didn’t give me a choice last night. It wasn’t my choice to be naked. I have to go.”
I drove home and called him halfway home. I felt so violated and couldn’t believe that someone that I was dating would rape me. I did everything in my power to communicate my wishes and he said it was fine the week before. I remembered he had told me of a story of another girl that accused him of ‘bullshit’ he said a few years back but it was kind of a blurry memory. I wasn’t the first, but I’d be the last. I broke up with him.
I drove home and walked in the door. Dad was sitting at the computer and looked up at me. I don’t know how he knew, but he asked how my night was and I said I’m never going out again.” Dad said, “Erin I don’t know what happened last night, but I’m sorry for whatever happened.”
My dad had no idea how much I needed him to support me and not judge me for walking in late on a Sunday morning in the mini skirt I had on. I felt so much shame like I should have never had any alcohol, or worn that skirt. Maybe he wouldn’t have done the actions had I acted differently. I sunk into a very deep depression.
I decided to reach out to my friend and let her know that our backup plan of her coming to get me was what I needed and she failed me. She promised she’d get me if I needed her and I called her at the apartment when he went to the bathroom. I knew I needed to get out and she said her mom wouldn’t let her drive in the rain. She felt so bad she wasn’t there for me. She said, “Erin you need to get tested to make sure he didn’t give you anything.”
I hadn’t even thought about that part yet, I was still processing losing my virginity to my boyfriend without my consent.
I agreed and we went to the local hospital. They didn’t have the services available for my needs so they said I needed to go to another hospital. At this point I had told my parents where I was headed and they drove to be there and support me. Mom came into the room with the nurse as they examined me. I saw on the scope what she was seeing with her camera. There was bruising, cuts and skin loss. I didn’t have any STDs thank goodness. I had to take a follow up blood test 6 months later for HIV+, which came clear. It was pretty clear even though my memory was not vivid that evening (date rape drugs do that to your memory), that I had been raped.
The sad thing about Rohypnol (date rape drug’s official name) is that it leaves your body in about 10 hours with no trace so it’s not detectable in a blood test. Common signs of the date rape drug include: blurry memory and drowsiness. I only had 2 drinks and I told the bartender I had to drive so no doubles. I also told my boyfriend too so either he slipped me doubles and I was drunk or he slipped an undetectable drug. Either way it wasn’t something I asked for, in fact, I asked for the opposite.
The following week was the week prior to finals. I had to call the police to make a report so that my rape kit cost would be covered. Money was always a stress for me because I didn’t want to be a burden to my family. Can you imagine the stress of the situation? I was still ashamed I let myself get raped. I wanted to stuff this experience in the deepest darkest hole and never think about it again. I finally got the nerve to call and report the crime. I was still very stressed and going through post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
A normal reaction to rape is to take responsibility for it. Unfortunately, 90% of rape cases involve alcohol and the perpetrator is known to you. I spoke to the officer on the phone. I remember vividly sitting in the back parking lot of Olson Auditorium. He asked me if we had ever been intimate before this night? I told him we had gone out a few times and fooled around the year prior but we had a conversation about me wanting to save myself for marriage and that I wanted my clothes to stay on.
He said, “okay what does fool around mean?” I told him we kissed and stuff but nothing involving being naked. He said, “okay you really need to think this over because if you report this, you’ll cost him his career and you’ll have to go to court and face him. Is this something you really want? Or do you just want me to have a conversation with him and make sure he never contacts you again?”
I felt like I had allowed myself to be raped by wearing a short skirt, drinking alcohol and putting myself in a position to not have a friend with me. I felt like it was my fault already because I was grieving being violated. When the officer told me this, I felt like the officer should have said something more compassionate to me instead of make me feel guilty about doing the right thing. In this instance there was no right or wrong it was all about what happened that night to my recollection and to report it. Since my memory was a blur (date rape drugs do that to you), I didn’t feel it was right to report it as rape any further than the conversation with the officer because of the shame I had taken on. It shouldn’t have ever been my shame to bare but I was going through completely normal feelings of someone that had been sexually assaulted. I never did hear from him again thank goodness. I decided the right thing for me was to give my rapist grace and not press charges since my memory was blurry. I felt the cop talking to him would be enough and I could move forward in life without going to court and reliving the event. If you’re going through something like this, go with your own personal instincts of what is right for you. Only you can make that decision for yourself.
The following week I got the courage to talk to the school counselor about what had happened. I was advised from a friend to not share if I had any thoughts about harming myself because they’d kick me out of school. I kept the conversation surface, but I did check the boxes on the intake form about rape and self harm. I didn’t think the school counselors would help. I confirmed with the counselor that if I had thoughts of self harm I shared, then she said she’d have to report it to her boss and then they might make me leave the university for my own safety. MY OWN SAFETY? Or for the safety of the university from having a lawsuit should I act on these thoughts? Either way, it didn’t make me trust this woman one bit. So I never went back. Depression makes you want to isolate yourself. I’m glad looking back that I went even if it was just one time. It caused her to speak to my advisor, to keep a compassionate eye on me.
I finished that semester with a 4.0 because all I did was laser focus in my studies after the incident.
The following spring I had quit choir, and asked my advisor if I could take a break from school. These are normal feelings and actions of someone that is not dealing with PTSD well. Dr. McConnell was very smart. She asked me if I could give her 2 weeks to think it over then if I felt like leaving she’d sign off on the paperwork. I agreed.
One of my classmates Rachel, one day saw lyrics on my binder. She said, “what’s that?” I said, “its a song I wrote.” Dr. McConnell overheard us talking and said, “Erin you love to sing and you’re not in choir anymore right? Why don’t you sing your song for us?” I was still feeling like isolated and was sad I wasn’t in jazz choir anymore. I wrote the song as a way to get my mind thinking more positively. I agreed to sing the song for them. It’s called, “Somebody new.” Singing helped me remember that I deserve to feel and be happy. I had been so focused on my studies and being a perfectionist to hide my pain. I couldn’t hide it anymore. The floodgates had been opened.
I started connecting with my classmates and was invited to get togethers (even brief ones before heading to work or home). One of my classmates opened up to me about her brother committing suicide when she was in high school. I asked her how she dealt with it. She said, she talked to counselors and made sure she scheduled fun time for her to relax. It felt good hearing from her story of how to move on in life. She also said exercise really helped her feel better. I knew that but when you’re in your studies and working you’re busy. You have to make exercise/movement a priority.
So I started jogging again. I always loved the way it made me feel. I decided to run my first half marathon that spring. I didn’t know anything about training for long distances but knew this was something I would accomplish because I’ve never failed at things I focus on. I also knew that I liked the way my body felt when I jogged, I just had not been focused on fitness because of work/school. I signed up for a trail run and trained on sidewalks 😂. I finished dead last, but was the only one to not fall in the mud at one point in the race (because I got lost and ran another way 🤣). I started to feel happy and healthy again. I started going to the 20 somethings group at the church again and reconnected with my friends there. I was on my way to feeling like living was a great opportunity.
If you’re reading this Dr. McConnell, thank you for asking me to wait 2 weeks before making such a drastic life changing decision. You gave me my life back.
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Move Happy Updates
The Move Happy Movement Podcast© is releasing episode #34 tomorrow with a guest that started her own non profit in mental health and the military. It’s available on iTunes and here. We’re 2 away from 400 downloads! If you’re one of the 398 and enjoying it, please do me a favor and rate review and subscribe to it on iTunes! Let me know who you’d like to hear from on the show there and I’ll work my magic 💫
The Move Happy World Tour Experience 1.0© is happening later this summer in Nashville, TN! For those that haven’t heard yet, it will be an experience you won’t want to miss! We’re having live musicians 🎶, inspirational speakers and complete life transformation. Anyone struggling with depression or that works with those who do should attend. You’ll leave equipped with the skills and practical action steps to move towards your own happiness. If you’d like to be on stage in some fashion, email me and send me a brief reason why you’d be a great fit.
If you’d like to support and buy your ticket pre-sale now it’s only $49 for general admission up to $4,997 VIP and perks here. 100 percent of proceeds after the cost of hosting the event are being donated to the John W Brick Foundation that funds research on alternative methods in mental health support. The event will be at the Ryman Auditorium in downtown Nashville. Once I get the deposit I’ll release the date. We’re $11,400 away from the goal! If you cannot attend and want to donate to the event, feel free to do so here.
To reserve presale tickets they range from $49-4,997 depending on access to backstage, VIP seating status, and giveaways. General seating is $49, 1st tier VIP $397, 2nd tier VIP $1,297, 3rd tier VIP $2,497 4th tier VIP $4,997.
General seating $49 – first come first serve upon door entrance
1st tier VIP $397- seat reservation provided
2nd tier VIP $1,297 – seat reservation provided, 30 minute consult with Erin Nicole & goodie bag
3rd tier VIP $2,497 – seat reservation provided, 60 minute consult with Erin Nicole, advertising of your business at event & goodie bag
4th tier VIP $4,997 – seat reservation provided, 60 minute consult with Erin Nicole, advertising of your business at event and leading up to the event in digital and print, 10 minute time slot on stage, 1 complimentary guest ticket & goodie bag for both
Order pre-sale tickets here.
Move Happy is moving into the business world! “Work Happy: The Practical Tools For Effective and Inclusive Workplaces©” is in beta.
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Employees will benefit from this because the workshop is designed with you as the main focus in a positive manner. Employers will benefit from this because people that are cared for work harder and take less sick days, thus increasing your bottom line 💰. The workshop includes a follow up refresher (2 days total). Email me – subject “Workplace Workshop Interest” to get on the waiting list. Provide me a brief summary of the issues you’d like turned around in your workplace, your role, who are the key leaders at your workplace that make the final decision and their contact info (if applicable), size of your organization, and name of the EAP you’re associated (if applicable).
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The first 5 companies/organizations that sign up in January receive 50% savings. The workshop cost varies depending on the size of your organization & in person or online. Small organizations (5 or less employees) that want the training done online will cost less than larger companies that want an in person training because I customize this workshop to fit your business needs.
Work Happy: The Practical Tools For Effective and Inclusive Workplaces© Workshop starts at $1,997 (plus travel and accommodations). That’s only $333 each for you and your team of 5 to be able to improve the productivity, improve the culture, and decrease the sick time utilized. Your business deserves to grow and your team deserves the best culture possible. I believe I can help cultivate that with you.
Have a larger organization? No problem, email me the details requested and I’ll work with your organization to provide a meaningful experience for your team and a profitable experience for your bottom line.
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As always, when you purchase from Move Happy®: ⠀
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💜 30 percent goes back to mental health research of your choice or if you don’t have one in mind, it’ll automatically go to our partner and ⠀
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♥️ 10 percent to your local Big Brothers and Big Sisters chapter and if you don’t have a local chapter it’ll go to your countries’ chapter or one of your choice⠀
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💜 or you can select all 40 percent to go towards the Move Happy World Tour 1.0 Experience©⠀
Truth #5 Journaling & Finding A Group Of Likeminded Can Be Cathartic
How can Move Happy® help college students/young working adults with depression? If you’re a college student struggling with depression, I’d love to give you the gift of my Move Happy journal. ⠀
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Keep in mind, I designed and implemented this with adult patients in a psychiatric hospital. We all shared our responses to one another (when we were ready to share). The weekly topics are broken down into daily open ended questions for you to reflect and write. After we journaled and had a brief 5-10 minute group discussion, we worked out together with workouts I designed. Cardio-muscle fitness-flexibility. If you want access to the workouts from the program you can go here. Otherwise, any free online website like acsm.org or 7 minute workout App is great too if money is an issue.
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I’d encourage you to start a small group of friends writing and reflecting together on your responses. After all, what we think about manifests itself and magnifies. If we’re thinking on positive things, even in dark times, it can help move us towards our own happiness.⠀
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All that I ask is that if you find value in this journal, please screen shot the page you enjoyed most and how it helped you and text it to your friends or share it on social media. ⠀
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You can download the journal here. It’ll ask you to provide your email and you’ll be included in some automated emails I wrote personally for mental health practitioners in mind but don’t worry you can always unsubscribe if it’s not applicable to you 💕 .
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So there you have it folks, depression in college age and young working adults is prevalent. Being diagnosed with depression isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t mean you cannot have a spectacular life. It does mean that some days your energy might be lower. It does mean that sometimes you might be going through a situation that makes you feel sad for a while. It can make you want to isolate yourself and quit things that you enjoy doing (to self punish).
Don’t forget that you are amazing and you deserve to feel and live a life of happiness. Plan things you enjoy in your calendar just like a doctor’s appointment. Plan to socialize with friends that lift up your spirits. Choose to do activities that make you smile 😃. If you hate your degree, you can always change it. If you hate your job, you can always change it. Or if you don’t want to make such a huge change, ask yourself what part of this degree/job do I enjoy?
If you’re struggling with depression and in college or a young working adult, focus on what you’re grateful for in those tough moments and those really tough days. Write out the things you’re grateful for and speak them aloud. The power of your words, voice and focus can alter your mood. Get out and move your body doing things you enjoy doing too! If the depression is really bad, don’t be afraid to seek professional treatment. Most college campuses have mental health professionals for you that are included in your tuition. Don’t do like I did and stop after the first session. They are there to help YOU. If there is a long waitlist for school counselors, ask if they have affiliated counselors/therapists that provide discounts or pro bono. If you need help finding someone in your area, email me. Whatever you do, don’t try to figure it out by yourself and try to stuff the pain. Believe me, working through it is the best way even though it can be painful and uncomfortable.
Thank you for reading this far. If you found any value in this, I’d be so honored if you’d share a screenshot with a friend or family member and what you loved most about it on social media. Feel free to tag me so others can connect with me that might not yet know what The Move Happy Movement is all about.
Together, we can help end depressions power over our lives and move towards our own happiness, worldwide. 💜
PS: Don’t forget to tell someone you love them today
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