Do the holidays make you feel a little sad because of loss? You’re not alone. According to Worldometer, over 59.7 million people have died so far this year around the world. That is a lot of families dealing with loss around the holidays when everything advertised since Halloween ended in stores and online advertisements is all about families being together. Perhaps you haven’t experienced a death per say but a death to your independence, perhaps new parenthood? Worldometer estimates over 119.28 million babies were born this year already. That’s a LOT of families adjusting after a global pandemic to more mouths to feed, more clothes to buy, bigger homes to purchase, and parents working more hours to cover the added costs. With the rising prices of food, gas, clothing, medical fees, school tuition, just about every service imaginable, its understandable if you’re feeling a little sad right now. The goal of this blog is to help provide some simple practical strategies to empower you to choose joy despite external circumstances. I share some real hard stuff I’m dealing with too and some science to help remind you you’re truly not alone. There are things in your power to change the world around you for the better. Stay all the way to the end to hear where we’re at in regards to our next Move Happy®️ happenings.
#1 Simple Way To Choose Joy: Look For The Small Things Everyday To Be Grateful For
I know its probably something you’re reading about all over social media since it is the month of Thanksgiving (at least here in the USA). The great thing about gratitude is that you can do it all year long every day in small doses to keep your happiness levels on the uprise. There is a lot of white paper research that backs the power of gratitude also. Berkeley did a study back in 2017 comparing people who donated to causes because they wanted to and those that did it because they felt forced. Here’s what they found: “we found that when people who are generally more grateful gave more money to a cause, they showed greater neural sensitivity in the medial prefrontal cortex, a brain area associated with learning and decision making.” Choosing to be grateful can have vast improvements on your learning and ability to make good decisions.
I know personally gratitude has helped me overcome a lot of stress most people would not believe I’ve experienced in such a short amount of time on earth. In this year alone I’ve had to move 8x because of political games people have been bullying me for 2 years. I got married earlier this year and that was a move by choice, but sadly had to move away temporarily because political bullies tried to use me to get to my husband when he’s a government contractor assigned to an important task. They used my nonprofit business partner and whom I thought of as a friend and coerced her to call me and put a trace on the call to find my location. They threatened her Active Duty status if she didn’t do it. I know because The Creator of the Universe reveals things to me at given times to help bring clarity to my spirit.
The same organizational leadership that connected me for protection to my husband in 2020 is the same people now trying to destroy me and my husband. A few weeks back they illegally hacked into my phone listening device and were listening in on my prayers about needing a new job. The previous job in Sales had allowed for sexual harassment and racism to occur. I had reluctantly reported it and was forced on paid administrative leave while they gathered fake evidence and threatened to bring a lawyer to our in person meeting instead of help me as the victim of terrible crimes. These same government contractors that were supposedly de-funded years ago were stalking my social media pages and decided to listen in on my prayers and requests to The Creator of the Universe through my Smart Device. That is a FELONY.
They sent me a group text invitation to apply to become a brand ambassador and get paid to advertise an energy drink on my vehicle for a short period of time. I did my due diligent research of the phone numbers, one of which is a government agency and didn’t know any of the numbers personally. I prayed and believed it was the direction I was supposed to go because I had no other options and needed to pay my bills. My mom also sent me $1500 in emergency money during this time. The organization conned me with a real business that is #2 in Thailand for energy drinks. I believed it to be legitimate because my husband knew my favorite kind of food and we went to get Thai food a few times so I thought it might be one of his buddies helping me out. Nope. They flagged my bank account for fraud, got my account shut down, stole all $1500 from my mom, $1800 from my bank that I have to pay back, and the bank told me that I committed money fraud and threatened me that they would be damaging my social security number to other banks. No one could help send me money during that time even if they wanted to. I had zero income coming in, barely enough gas money. I had to stay at a friends temporarily until I could move to a place I could afford after finding a 1 bedroom I LOVED but had to sadly move from. I was able to negotiate with the bank to pay 50% and they’re going to give me a letter waiving any negative marks on my social security number. However, this is a CRIME TO STEAL FROM A LOW INCOME WOMAN VETERAN SPOUSE. They are testing me to see if my husband will come to my rescue but my husband knows that I am a resiliency queen and that’s part of the reason why he married me. He sees my heart and knows that I am good. One day we will be reunited. Even though it was not at all connected to the situation, the bank also shut down my nonprofit Erin Nicole Ministries account because of this fiasco. Lawyers will be involved in this situation and I know many people that will be listed in the lawsuit that are not Christians nor acting like them. The Bible states it is perfectly acceptable to sue people if they are not of the same faith system. My husband and I would prefer mercy over justice, but enough bullshit has happened and I am an example to other people with depression to stand up for yourself. If I let this go, what does that say to the bullies for the next victim they steal from?
Sadly, I forgot about the fact that the President of this De-funded Alumni Group also knew my favorite food and is the same person that came to my home in 2020 and offered me free security detail protection for 2 days. 6 months later, he reached out to take me on a date (when I was living with my friend and nonprofit business partner temporarily),he told me to wear something skimpy with no bra and meet him out for some drinks. He also told me he wasn’t married I should add, which is a lie. When I got down to the big city to meet him, he asked me to perform sexual acts in public in the middle of the day and I politely declined even though I was physically attracted to him. I thought it was really odd that he would ask me to do that but that old adage, boys will be boys came to mind.
We spent a few hours together and at that time I found out he had over 1000+ acres. I asked if he’d donate 1-2 acres for my nonprofit to help build the Healing Harmony Place®️ for Veterans to have a safe space to come and heal with me. He laughed and said, “no way we’re trying to add acreage, why would I get rid of acreage?” Then he quickly changed the subject. I had heard he said back in October of 2020 that he owned 150-200 acres. How’d he get 850+ acres in 6 months? We spent the evening together but honestly, he spent more time getting other ladies phone numbers for “networking” that I didn’t feel like it was a date other than he paid for the drinks. We went to 3 spots and by the 3rd one it was time for me to get going. I needed to drive a distance and I don’t drink and drive nor do I waste time with people that waste mine. I had had enough of him walking away from me and drinking heavily at this point. I was married to an alcoholic and spent 6 years by his side, I can spot a drunk miles away #NotInterested. I told him it was time I go and asked him to get me an Uber. He walks me outside and asks me a second time to perform sexual acts on him outside, publicly which is a felony. He can actually be charged with a felony for whipping it out if he wasn’t a part of a group that will never be tried for any crimes. People that do that get added to the list of pedofiles that all Americans have access to. He knows better. At this point I was aware that he was a plant to try and ruin my reputation and damage the brand. Mama didn’t raise no fool. I pointed to a sign that said cameras filming and walked to the Uber. I was so pissed off in the ride back to my vehicle and the driver knew it. The driver actually gave me his business card and said, call me anytime if you want a real man to take you out LOL 😂. I passed on the opportunity but it was nice timing of a gentleman respecting me that I never even met before. #MenTakeNote
This married man probably has children and gained 850+ acres for taking a payment from a PhD in ministry to destroy my brand and/or kill me, only he’s not very good at it. He probably was pissed this year that I married my hero of 2020 because my husband trained this pervert years ago. Now he has to answer to my husband about all the shit he did to me and to us. I’m extremely patient and have been just plugging away in this new job in this new space that I’m not sharing any details about because its none of your business. I used to be so open about everything because I am a trustworthy person, full of love and gratitude for others.
However, The Creator has taught me that now is not the time to be open. Now is the time to be guarded, low key and stay focused on the plans He has for me. I am extremely patient about reconnecting with my husband in His perfect timing. You might be dealing with parenting and having your spouse overseas right now. You’re not alone. Mine is right there with your spouse on assignment. Maybe your husband or wife is a traveling sales person and you’re doing a lot of the parenting at home alone. There have been so many issues with internet hackings and downages around the Nation I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve missed out on some Zoom meetings or had your phone randomly freeze up and you don’t get to say goodnight to your kiddos or see your spouse like you’d prefer. Hang in there and remember to focus on what you do get to be grateful for. For example, if all they can do is text you, be grateful for the text received. Maybe there is a nice coworker that you can go out to lunch with and get to know while you’re waiting for your honey to come home.
#2 Simple Way To Choose Joy: Find Someone Or Something To Contribute To
Contribution is one of the strongest ways to boost your joy and there is a lot of science to back it up. The Cedars-Sinai group wrote a great blog explaining how acts of kindness release oxytocin in the body. This is the same chemical that is released from mother to child during cradling times. The benefits of oxytocin are awesome. Additionally kindness can help boost serotonin in the body which helps improve mood. Let’s all find more ways to be kind for our own benefit too!
Some of the ways I’ve contributed this year have not been easy. When I was packing for the 4th time to move to be with my husband I had to get rid of some things because of space and to save on gas money for traveling expenses. I was driving Lyft customers at the time and one in particular was going into a shelter, was days away from having her 3rd child and had 2 kiddos that were going to stay with their grandparents until she could find housing for all 4 of them. The father of her child was in jail I believe and she needed help. Something told me to ask her what she needed because I was moving. She told me she needed a bed for her eldest son and I had an air mattress I had used once before purchasing my $1800 mattress (I didn’t know that was expensive 😂). I gave her that, some lamps, my end tables, and some other odd items. I gave my roommates my open closet I purchased and built when I had lived at my nonprofit and former friend’s house last year because when I slept in their bonus room, she had all her military uniforms in the closet and I didn’t have space for my clothes when I slept on their couch for a bit. (I did pay her rent btw so she in a sense was my landlord too not really a friend, but that’s okay. We can learn how not to treat others by some people).
I gave away my vacuum, and some other supplies because my husband had a lot of these things and we were moving in together as couples do when they get married. It felt good to give away items to people that needed them because I had enough with my husband. Even though he forced me to leave telling me that ‘they’d kill me’ if I didn’t give him my dogtags back, I know we’ll be back together one day. He has had to deal with so many lies from people over the years that he was lying to me constantly “testing me” as he called it. The final one about needing the dogtags was something he told me when we first met would be something that he’d say if he needed to protect me. I just was so sad about trusting in him and us and having to start all over again. But The Creator hasn’t allowed me to die yet so I keep on getting up and doing my best to help others everyday.
You might be going through a divorce process right now, or separation from your partner and are stressed. I encourage you to find a way to contribute to others and the pain will subside for a bit. I’m going to be speaking soon to leadership at my job about contributing something special during this holiday season because I’ve been extremely sad lately, crying a lot when I’m alone, and it reminds me of the year my dad died and how stressed my body was. When we’re alone we get to be our honest selves. I know I’m a child of the Most High King. I know I have a ton to be grateful for and choose everyday to focus on those truths. However, I also am respecting my feelings of loss from my husband this year. I’m respecting my feelings of loss from my bank account, nonprofit bank account, and having to move an additional 4 more times after being separated from my husband not by choice but being forced to because of the ongoing chronic thefts of the De-Funded Alumni Group Leadership that has been getting away with it. I’m not going to give up but I also recognize that I am human, we all have limits and I could really use a good friend close by.
Since there aren’t any close friends that I’ve known for a long time close by, I’m creating new relationships at my job and contributing in the areas of genius that I have been designed to assist in. Leaders don’t have titles, leaders stand out from the crowd and find ways to add value. I am working on keeping a low profile while also not staying stagnant because I have a low cognitive skilled job right now. I am grateful for the foot in the door and for the organization that allowed me to be hired in the perfect time.
#3 Simple Way To Choose Joy: Find Ways To Move Daily Doing Things You Love
This one is a MUST not just for joy but for all kinds of health benefits, better sleep, better sexual performance/stamina with your spouse, better cholesterol and blood pressure, and on and on. The important key factor about movement is doing something you LOVE. If you haven’t tried a lot of different physical activities, sports, martial arts, dances, perhaps now is the time to try something new. With all the BS I’ve been dealing with the last 2 years, I am actively researching martial arts because I learned some from my husband back in 2020 when we had first met. It builds our confidence when we are stronger and know how to defend ourselves. I also enjoy that all my friends are packing and my roommates too 😉. No one will try and mess with me while my husband is on assignment. If they do, they’ll be sorry #SecondAmendmentRights
Activities that I most enjoyed in the past aren’t all available to me in my geographic location and financial limitations so I’m getting creative in my areas of genius (movement program design). If you’re in a new area, perhaps you’re a veteran spouse and you got moved because the government moved you and you don’t know anyone yet but are wanting to get into fitness, sports, dance, etc, check out the YMCA or other gyms local to ya. If you prefer to workout alone at home, I highly recommend Yoga With Adriene because she brings me joy when I join in on her workouts and why not share a free resource with you? Thanks to an ex-boyfriend from a few years back for the recommendation. The relationship didn’t workout but I learned about Adriene in the process 💜. Comment below 👇 what you’re interested in trying this year or in 2023.
#4 Simple Way To Choose Joy: Find A Way To Get Your Creative Art Juices Flowing
Some of us were born dancers, singers, actors, drawing artists, sculptors, novelists, etc. For me, its definitely singing and song-writing. Find what your area of genius is or remind yourself of what you were good at when you were younger and find ways to spend time doing it a few times a week. Medium found listening to poetry can actually increase your sense of rest: ” In a 2013 study of poetry’s effect on the brain, British scientists discovered that we respond to poetry as a state of rest.” The more time we allow for creativity in whatever area of creative we desire, the easier it is for us to choose to be joyful because we’re setting up an environment to take care of ourselves.
For me personally, I try to spend 3-4 days a week playing my keyboard and singing even if I don’t ‘feel like it.’ When you’re depressed, you tend to withdraw from activities that bring you joy as a form of self deprecation. Its a pattern that we learn and repeat overtime. In order to break the negative thought patterns, we have to actively choose activities even in our low states that bring us joy because of the benefits after its completed. I pair the music creation and playing of completed songs along with journaling. The more stressful a season the more I write. I don’t have a strict format for the journaling, I allow whatever thoughts, feelings, and events that are significant for me to be documented. Its a private space for me to encourage myself on dark days and to remind myself of the things that The Creator has allowed me to do despite the challenging circumstances I’ve experienced.
This year alone I have written 28 songs so far. Not all of them are completed yet, but I’m impressed with my tenacity despite being forced to move 8x, being forced to change jobs multiple times, having my life threatened yet again, and hosting 2 Real Entertainment Therapy Experiences®️ I created out of nothing but the Grace and Favor of The Creator of The Universe with top leaders from Disney, USPS, US Army, US Air Force, Previous Super bowl performer, and more as leaders stepping up to support my 14th therapy I developed to help empower people with depression to find happiness from within. This year we only had maybe $100 donated to the nonprofit so I’ve been extremely resourceful with the limited funds because I’ve had to be. I’ve also had to get a new phone 4x because of professional hackers from the De-funded organization messing with my technologies and have at times not been able to reach my family at all because I had to keep my location on lockdown. No woman in the USA should have to deal with so much violent acts but many of my readers have had to deal with crimes in your neighborhoods greater than I could imagine.
One of my co-workers brothers was shot recently 47x and survived! She has to deal with the PTSD of having visited him right before the event and not making enough money to go and check on his well-being. We’re all experiencing pain and challenging circumstances or are about to. It’s a part of life. What we choose to focus on during the challenging seasons will magnify our thought processes and allow us to either grow into kinder and more loving human beings, or allow us to stay stagnant, be angry, and lose out on opportunities to have an incredible life. I choose to focus on being creative at least 3x a week in music because success, joy, and more energy comes so swiftly to me without much effort in as little as 10 minutes. Pay attention to what comes swiftly to you without much effort and adds good energy to you 😉.
#5 Simple Way To Choose Joy: Join In On Causes Greater Than Your Circumstances That You Believe In No Matter What You’re Going Through
The year I decided to walk away from my first husband I knew I needed to find a way to contribute through volunteering. I was newly connected to this direct sales organization and they partnered with Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America. If you have’t heard of this organization, I strongly recommend you reach out to donate money or donate your time. They pair up an adult with a youth in the community that might not have the best circumstances at home. Many have single parent families and most are low income. I was paired with a sweet young Mexican-American gal. She and I had so much fun together! We got to go to free concerts by Cold Play, the Seattle Symphony, and more. We sometimes would bake at my place and she also invited my mom and I to watch her play volleyball and attend her band concert. Even when I moved across the country I stayed connected to her and desired to fly her to a university as she’s looking to attend colleges soon.
She made it into the top private school and one of her teachers encouraged her to dream big about where she’d like to attend college. I called her when I was off the grid in 2020 and she dreamed of attending Notre Dame. I posted about it on my Facebook and one of my connections reached out and said she’d help her visit the campus because she got her PhD from there and her child was attending and could host her if the campus was open to visitors. Sadly, this De-funded government contract organization has blocked my Little Sis’s phone number and I don’t know how to get a hold of her. They can mess with me all they want, but messing with a child is evil and sick. They should be ashamed of themselves. My husband gave me some ways to try and reach out to her but those require money and all of this BS this year with getting my bank account shut down and forcing me to move so many times hasn’t been free. This will all be included in the lawsuit if the President of the Organization doesn’t connect my husband to our top level leaders and apologize to my face for all of his actions.
The Creator told me that is what needs to happen and will so I am being as patient as humanly possible. If you’re dealing with some BS cyber warfare from people, I highly recommend you report the crime to the FBI if you’re in the USA. I’ve had to file 4x since August 18th and have experienced more issues since then but am choosing my battles and praying deeply on what’s most important to report to not overload the FBI for all the crimes our leadership’s contractors are conducting. I imagine these people aren’t even telling our top leaders what they’re doing and will be shamed during the meeting. As a peacekeeper in my family and in society, I desire for everyone to get along. That has made me a target for both political parties because both sides want to use my influence for their political games. However, The Creator has called me to something greater than what they keep doing so I’ll wait for The Creator to fight the battle for me in His perfect timing.
You might be experiencing extreme loss, postpartum blues, domestic violence, job loss, or even homelessness. Know that you’re not alone. There is help available. Don’t give up no matter how tough it gets. I promise you, tomorrow will be better than today. Get down on your knees and pray to your deity asking how you can contribute to others through your areas of genius and what direction to take day by day. Spend time daily in prayer and you’ll have more clarity.
If you have children with anxiety and depression or you suspect them of it, pray with them. Show them the power of Spiritual Health and that you believe in greater circumstances tomorrow. Be that example your children need to see and help them decrease their angst just by you becoming that solid rock for them to learn from.
A co-worker told me a few days ago that her husband had committed suicide last year and she’s dealing with the loss of him, financially struggling and raising a now 3 year old. She got off the phone with SSI and they’re going to backpay her $6k and give her $1000/mo to hep her with her situation for her child. She was so overjoyed that she doesn’t have to worry about Christmas presents now. You might be going through challenging circumstances now but at least you’re alive. If you are alive, then The Creator is not done with you yet and has a purpose for you. Pray for clarity on that purpose and ask The Creator to use you to improve the world around you. That’s what I keep doing and when I do it out loud, that’s when he goes to battle for me and reveals truths to me in my areas of genius.
So that’s a wrap folks. There are more tips we could share but we don’t want to overwhelm you so much that you don’t take any action steps. Take what you love and leave what you don’t. It would mean the world if you’d share this blog with someone you care about. More importantly, if you work for the government, it would mean the world if you’d step up and help me bring my husband home and get these thieves to stop stealing. I cannot do it on my own and need help and prayers. Thank you 🙏 . Please mark December 23rd on your calendar for the final Real Entertainment Therapy Experience®️ 3.0 “Fitness” Focus. I am allowing The Creator to handle all the details and find me help to orchestrate it. Details will be released privately to those we trust as a family. Reach out if you desire more information but understand that if I don’t respond, my phone either blocked your messages, or my warriors are protecting me from you. Nothing personal 😉. I trust my husband and his friend’s wisdom.
PS: Don’t forget to tell someone you love them today
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