Are you a teenager or work/live with one? If so, this blog is for you. I dive deep into this week’s topic of Teenagers and Depression. I include what science tells us, some personal and professional experiences, I share about a pretty cool program I’m proud about. I also try my best to keep things somewhat entertaining and light with fun GIPHYs.
I love it when you interact and let me know what insights you have, what questions are brought up from what you read, and general feedback on the topic.
If you feel I’ve added value to you by the end, I’d be honored if you’d share a screen shot of a particular part in here that you appreciated and post it on social media or with someone you care about.
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#1 Must Know: What Does Depression Look Like For Teens?⠀
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Teenage depression goes way beyond growing pains. It is estimated that 1 in 5 teens suffer from depression and most do not get any treatment. Why? 🤷♀️ 🤷♂️ . Because it is difficult to differentiate between moodiness and depression. ⠀
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Here is a great parent’s guide that I think everyone should read that works with teens or lives with them. Check it out here.I’d love to know what stood out to you and what additional comments or memories you can share to help guide discussion.⠀
For me personally, I had an awakening at 14 years old. It was a transitioning year from junior high to high school, my dear friend and I had 5 classes together and we started fighting at that point. My eldest brother was being sent back to the states from his military assignment after making some poor association choices. I was always afraid of his erratic behavior (especially when things didn’t go his way). I was scared he would hurt me or go on a tirade like when we were younger. He had some major anger issues that were never treated with medication or therapy that I am aware of. I didn’t know how to voice my fears so I just got quiet.
I didn’t speak to anyone in school for 2 weeks. I showed up to school because my mom made me, but I wanted to be invisible. I missed a couple days of school because my anxiety got so bad and my dad let me stay home when my stomach hurt. Mom finally convinced me that running away from my fears would only add more stress from missing homework and what not. My favorite math teacher was going through cancer treatment at that time too and he had to leave halfway through the year. An 8th grader at a nearby school had ended his life with his dad’s gun too. We all heard about it at the annual jazz night when the entire band missed the show (this was a district wide spaghetti dinner night that everyone looked forward to, everyone knew that school was missing the show and word started spreading about what had happened).
I didn’t realize it at the time but it was only 3 years after my dad had been diagnosed with cancer and I was afraid my teacher was going to die. PTSD was going on but I had no words for it and also thought I should be able to handle it like everyone else. Also, his sub sucked at teaching and was hormonal because of her pregnancy 🤰 😂. I was a wreck! To give her some credit, she did write me a nice review for Mr. C’s music group despite not knowing me well so she wasn’t all bad.
I knew my bro was going to be living with us again and dealing with all of these other things became too much for me. I emailed him letting him know what he did to me really messed me up and that I was choosing to forgive him and love him despite how he had treated me. That’s what we learned in the church anyway, love people even if they’re incredibly mean to you, even if they abuse you. Forgive them as He forgave you (verse somewhere in the Bible). I’m no religious expert but its written in there multiple times so a simple google search could locate it if you’re interested.
To my brother’s credit, he did apologize for the way he treated me growing up upon his return. He was dealing with his own life choices and never actually hurt me when he returned from his military stint other than try to keep me from talking to anyone because of his personal shame. Partly because my parents were now in the know, and my dad would have literally killed him had he tried to lay a finger on me. Dad told me so. That’s why I was so afraid to give any details as to what actually happened from 3-5 years old. What good would it do towards mending our family during this transition anyway?
So I let it be vague as I felt the spirit led me to be. Because these things had been done at that young age I later found out had been neuro-wired and thought by many psychiatrists and psychologists in research to being impossible to change and improve. Permanent brain damage my ass.
Luckily science continues to evolve and learn from more studies. However, the long term effects of abuse (random acts of violence in various forms that were never predictable) have made it challenging to keep my mood balanced in times of transition. I find it challenging to trust people that raise their voices in anger and have inconsistencies in their character and values. I appreciate going through what I had gone through because I feel it has helped mold me into the caring empathetic person I am today. I am not angry with my brother as I look back and can appreciate he was hurting and chose to hurt because he had mental illness that was untreated and his father was gone most of the time to provide the paternal structure in the household. Some choose to keep quiet, and I believe I was called like Joyce Meyer was to share, educate and empower through my story. I hope to be more and more like her and the other women of the Bible through the associations I choose to make and my personal time in His Word. I also hope to inspire teens or parents with teens to talk more in the home and even before they hit the teenage years because kids are learning from your example every day.
I chose to break that cycle and work consistently everyday to make sure that my actions and words reflect that of how I believe Jesus would act and speak if he were alive today. Don’t worry I’m not going to get super religious, He is a figure I respect in history and try to emulate in real life, you know but more feminine. I’m definitely not perfect, but after seeing how I have reacted in very stressful times (like divorce, unemployment, life threatening roommates) I really do love myself.
Going back to 14 years old me, Mom started working that same year after being a stay at home mom since I was born. I was pretty spoiled up to that point as most of my friends had single parent families and their moms had to work. I was trying to keep my grades up while balancing all of these emotions as a teenager. I wasn’t handling the transitions well at all.
I was pretty involved in my church youth group and went to the college/ high school Saturday services too. I was open to trying everything and anything to feel less stressed. Another favorite math teacher Mr. Russell came and spoke to me one day. I remember his conversation so vividly. He said, “Erin we all deal with stresses and have things going on. It doesn’t mean you have to just hide from them. Facing them and moving through them are what make you a stronger person. You have always been one of my favorite students because of how hard you work and your listening skills. I know you’ll pull through this hard time, just don’t try to do it on your own okay?”
How did he know what was going on? I never said anything that’s for sure.
My friends talked to the school counselor about me when I missed a choir performance.
I never missed any concerts.
That day I had been trying out for the track team for a couple of weeks and was also carrying equipment for band, a full backpack and missed the bus. I thought mom was going to pick me up but she had a sub job that day. I had forgotten to eat and drink all day because I was stressed and at this point was very dehydrated. I walked home about 1.5 miles with my track clothes in one hand, my flute in my other hand and a backpack full of books because I couldn’t remember if I had homework and didn’t want to miss anything. Stress can cause your brain to have short term memory loss and I was forgetting a lot lately. When I finally got home, my dad took me to the hospital because he didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was having a really hard time communicating what was going on.
My parents asked if I wanted to get prayed over at the church and I said yes. I think it was that same evening after being released from the hospital. Mom was on the phone with her sister asking for advice (former nurse), and her dear friend Rebecca who’s like an aunt to me (she was always in my business and very empathetic and supportive #Somewhatnosy #loveher #missher). Rebecca always had the best questions to ask me to get me talking. It wasn’t long before I agreed to go to see my doctor and look into therapy options.
Looking back, I should have had more conversations with doctors but the stigma was very strong in our community and household. We went and spoke to my doctor, he wanted to immediately put me on medication without any other conversations of treatment. He lied to my parents and told them that I had agreed to this option when I told him I didn’t want to. I told my parents in the car ride home and mom said “try it for 2 days and if you don’t feel better, we’ll get rid of them and try something else.”
There are a lot of warnings on medications for children and thoughts of suicide and self harm risk because of all the natural hormonal changes going on. I didn’t realize at the time there are over 100s of different medication options and never tried anything else. We didn’t talk about options because I now didn’t trust my doctor. I did go to therapy 3 sessions as that was what was covered from dad’s insurance.
As a teen with depression, it’s normal to feel like you’re a burden. Finances were always a concern in the house of 5 so I didn’t want to add to that financial burden. I learned a few techniques like journaling what I was proud about myself, things I was grateful for, and had been encouraged from my counselor to start exercising for my mental health. I took those skills and continued to use them well through my high school and college years.
Depression can look very different for everyone but there are some similar things it looks like for teenagers. Many teens do not yet know how to voice their feelings. Adults take note and encourage them to write it out if they are withdrawing. Encourage them to go on a walk and have open ended questions ready. Don’t try to force them to take medication and nothing else. Most importantly, if you’re a doctor and you lie to the parents right in front of the teen, that’s encouraging them to do the exact opposite, never trust you and possibly get you prepped for a lawsuit should that teen decide to end their life on the wrong medication.
#2 Must Know: What Are The Signs & Symptoms of Teenage Depression?⠀
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What are some signs and symptoms of teenage depression? ⠀
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The Mayo Clinic has a great document outlining the key factors in what it looks like, what potentially causes it, and what steps to take to prevent teenage suicide. ⠀
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Check it out here.
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I’d love to hear your thoughts, questions or additional stories that will add to a proactive approach to supporting tennagers with depression.
For me, it was finding a balance of expectations and enjoyment. I decided after I had my first awakening at 14 that I didn’t need to be in all the accelerated classes like my middle smart 🤓 bro was. I put too much pressure on myself to be perfect and really enjoyed singing 🎤. I decided when I moved to the high school (10th-12th grade building) to focus on my singing career and take the classes necessary to pass high school.
I knew that my mind would naturally fear the future and have all these visions over what was going to take place. I decided that I would enjoy my high school experience by getting plugged in with the top music group and spend an hour extra after school every day. I decided that it mattered more to me to learn how to perform and be in front of an audience and sing to thousands in a crowd. I decided I cared more about entertaining and getting adults to put down their forks 🍴 and pay attention to what I was singing about than any math lesson or history lesson could teach me. It wasn’t that those classes weren’t important too, I just had to make a decision where I would lean into my energy and skill set. I’m so grateful for that elite group being available, for taking a chance and auditioning, and for being rejected initially to then being told I ranked the same score as a senior (when I was a freshman) and she happened to move out of district opening up a slot for me 💜. Perspective.
I never had any issues in high school with my depression because I was so connected to this music group and always had things to look forward to whether it was performing around Washington, planning trips to Hawaii or Disneyland, or selling hot dogs at the Seahawks and Mariners Stadiums to raise money for our trips. I was able to focus on learning more skills in my interest area, and giving back to my community through my church youth group. I spent my energy and focus being a part of something greater than myself and being surrounded by the top musicians in a school of 1700+ students. Also we danced 💃 almost everyday so that helped with my mental health without me even realizing it 😂.
#3 Must Know: What Is The Prevalence Of Depression In Teens Worldwide?⠀
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What is the global prevalence in teenage depression? The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) estimates that 20 percent of teens have depression worldwide. They have a great article as well including some social media resources for the major platforms. ⠀
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Check it out here.⠀
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It is estimated that only 30 percent of teens are receiving treatment for their depression. Why? 🤷♂️ 🤷♀️. Some might not be aware they need help, some parents might not have the financial resources or resourcefulness to seek out help, some might be embarrassed that they need mental health support because of society stigmas, and some might be in denial that they need help. ⠀
No matter what the reason is for 70 percent of teens not receiving treatment, that means we as a society need to be even more compassionate, kind and understanding to teenagers. ⠀
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If you see a teen serving you at a restaurant, thank them by name. If you see a teen opening the door for you at the store, thank them and look them in the eye (if that is a form of respect in your culture). Write a thank you card to the teen that babysat for you so you could have a hot date night with your spouse or significant other. You never know what that teen is going through outside of your influence. ⠀
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I’m here giving advice because I remember so vividly my teenage years and the kindness I received from those that I crossed paths with. I’m no expert in dealing with teenage depression. I have perspective, I have my own issues with depression, and I authentically believe we all deserve to be and feel loved (even if you’re a little sassy to me 😆). ⠀
#4 Must Know: What Causes Depression in Teenagers & What Are Some Practical Strategies To Support Them?⠀
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What causes depression in teens & what are some practical strategies to empower teens with depression? The NIMH lists some possible causes of depression in teenage years in #3 link above. ⠀
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Some are genetic factors, some situational like childhood abuse, some are related to alcohol and drug addictions (either from birth or other), if suicide occurred recently in the family/community, and financial stresses. ⠀
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Review #3’s article here for a more thorough review. ⠀
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Some practical strategies include: psychotherapy, group therapy, exercise like walking or running, music that the teen enjoys, art activities like drawing/painting/sculpting, journaling, social activities with friends or new groups (like youth group or camps in the interest of the teen). ⠀
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I’d love to hear more ideas from you on practical strategies to help teenagers be empowered to move towards their own happiness below or feel free to tweet me @MoveHappyTeam ⬇️ ⠀
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Move Happy® Updates
The Move Happy Movement Podcast© is releasing episode #35 tomorrow with a guest that has worked with Bill Gates, been on the board for Google, been on the TedX stage, and coaches 3 high level professionals annually. His name is Ash Sobhe and you can listen to the episode tomorrow on iTunes and here. I had the honor of receiving a connection invite from him via LinkedIn, him asking to speak to me and hear my story, and give me his personal cell phone and tell me all of his resources were at my disposal. Magical things happen when you’re clear on your vision and I’m so grateful he took the time to be on the show. He’s been in the hospital with some medical issues so if you could please say some prayers 🧘♀️ or send positive thoughts his way, that’d be amazing. As for the podcast, we’re at 434 downloads! If you’re one of my listeners and enjoy it, please do me a favor and rate, review, and subscribe to it on iTunes! Let me know who you’d like to hear from on the show there and I’ll work my magic 💫
The Move Happy World Tour Experience 1.0© is happening later this summer in Nashville, TN! For those that haven’t heard yet, it will be an experience you won’t want to miss! We’re having live musicians 🎶, inspirational speakers and complete life transformation. Anyone struggling with depression or that works with those who do should attend. You’ll leave equipped with the skills and practical action steps to move towards your own happiness. If you’d like to be on stage in some fashion, email me and send me a brief reason why you’d be a great fit.
If you’d like to support and buy your ticket pre-sale now it’s only $49 for general admission up to $4,997 VIP and perks here. 100 percent of proceeds after the cost of hosting the event are being donated to the John W Brick Foundation that funds research on alternative methods in mental health support. The event will be at the Ryman Auditorium in downtown Nashville. Once I get the deposit I’ll release the date. We’re $11,400 away from the goal! If you cannot attend and want to donate to the event, feel free to do so here.
General seating is $49, 1st tier VIP $397, 2nd tier VIP $1,297, 3rd tier VIP $2,497 4th tier VIP $4,997.
General seating $49 – first come first serve upon door entrance
1st tier VIP $397- seat reservation provided
2nd tier VIP $1,297 – seat reservation provided, 30 minute consult with Erin Nicole & goodie bag
3rd tier VIP $2,497 – seat reservation provided, 60 minute consult with Erin Nicole, advertising of your business at event & goodie bag
4th tier VIP $4,997 – seat reservation provided, 60 minute consult with Erin Nicole, advertising of your business at event and leading up to the event in digital and print, 10 minute time slot on stage, 1 complimentary guest ticket & goodie bag for both
Move Happy is moving into the business world! “Work Happy: The Practical Tools For Effective and Inclusive Workplaces©” is in beta.
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Employees will benefit from this because the workshop is designed with you as the main focus in a positive manner. Employers will benefit from this because people that are cared for work harder and take less sick days, thus increasing your bottom line 💰. The workshop includes a follow up refresher (2 days total). Email me – subject “Workplace Workshop Interest” to get on the waiting list. Provide me a brief summary of the issues you’d like turned around in your workplace, your role, who are the key leaders at your workplace that make the final decision and their contact info (if applicable), size of your organization, and name of the EAP you’re associated (if applicable).
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The first 5 companies/organizations that sign up in January receive 50% savings. The workshop cost varies depending on the size of your organization & in person or online. Small organizations (5 or less employees) that want the training done online will cost less than larger companies that want an in person training because I customize this workshop to fit your business needs.
Work Happy: The Practical Tools For Effective and Inclusive Workplaces© Workshop starts at $1,997 (plus travel and accommodations). That’s only $333 each for you and your team of 5 to be able to improve the productivity, improve the culture, and decrease the sick time utilized. Your business deserves to grow and your team deserves the best culture possible. I believe I can help cultivate that with you.
Have a larger organization? No problem, email me the details requested and I’ll work with your organization to provide a meaningful experience for your team and a profitable experience for your bottom line.
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As always, when you purchase from Move Happy®: ⠀
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💜 30 percent goes back to mental health research of your choice or if you don’t have one in mind, it’ll automatically go to our partner and ⠀
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♥️ 10 percent to your local Big Brothers and Big Sisters chapter and if you don’t have a local chapter it’ll go to your countries’ chapter or one of your choice⠀
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💜 or you can select all 40 percent to go towards the Move Happy World Tour 1.0 Experience©
#5 Must Know: How Can Move Happy® Help Teenagers With Depression?⠀
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If you’re a teen struggling with depression or you suspect a teen you work/live with does, I’d love to give you a gift. I created this 📓 for my patients in a psych 🏥. We journaled together daily on different topics related to happiness. We exercised together as well and it not only helped me feel better after losing my father to cancer, it helped my patients feel happier too. ⠀
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These were adult patients but I feel the 📓 is easy enough for you to enjoy it too. It is completely free. All that I ask is that you get your parents or guardians permission first because you have to enter an email address to get the download. ⠀
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Once you receive the journal in digital format you can choose to print it and make a copy for you and a friend. For multiple copies printed please email me permission first here.
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To get your free Move Happy Participant Journal go here. ⠀
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Or if you want to buy one and support my cause you can get it in the store here.
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All that I ask is that if you find value in the 📓 and it helps you with your depression, please take a screenshot of the page and share a few sentences with a friend/family member and social media and tag me. ⠀
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That way more people will be able to be positively impacted and we can help decrease suicide rates of teens together and help empower teens worldwide to move towards their own happiness. ⠀
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Feel free to also email me if you have any questions on the topics or feel I should add a new category for teenagers. I am constantly wanting to improve my products for my audience. ⠀
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PS: Also, sometime in the future I am planning to host a youth camp for either a day or a couple of days depending on funding and volunteer adults with thorough background checks. If that is something you are interested in, follow my channel for updates and keep yourself in the loop by subscribing to the email newsletter (where you got your free journal download).
So there you have it folks. Teenagers can be depressed, and it is a very serious issue. However, there are resources available, people available and fun things to look forward to if teens are given the option to focus on what they enjoy. I’m so grateful my parents were supportive of me finding my way towards my own happiness and reminding me kindly of natural consequences when my mental illness got a little too strong for my 14 year old capacity (i.e. missing school adds to more homework without teacher support, or being sassy with dad makes me lose out on performing at the amphitheater for the community church outreach acting program #SorryDadLessonLearned).
Learn from what science and professionals recommend and what my experience has shown you. If medication is something recommended, encourage conversations with your teen. Medication doesn’t make you weak. It means it might help you not have to work so hard to deal with life as opposed to just suffering. If one medication doesn’t work, try another one. It can take up to 16 weeks some experts say to find chemical balance with the medication interactions. Don’t assume you’ll know if its working in 2 days.
Go to therapy if you feel you need more sessions than 3. Most people cannot build rapport in 3 sessions with an adult let alone a teen. Plan for fun things in your life and focus on things you can do. Be proactive, not reactive.
If you’re a teen or live/work with one in the greater TN area, keep connected with me. I’d love to host an event for teens sometime in the future and get some volunteer parents/teachers/social workers to partake in it as well. Feel free to email me if you’re interested subject line “Youth Summer Camp Interest” and I’ll keep you in the loop as the time gets closer and details get figured out.
Thank you for reading this far!
If you found any value in what I wrote, I’d be honored if you’d share this with someone you really care about.
PS: Don’t forget to tell someone you love them today
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