Have you ever wondered how some work places seem to be so fun? Have you ever experienced having dinner at a friend’s house and everyone had healthy conversations, maybe a little healthy bantering going on around the dinner table, and for the most part they got along? Do these work/home people have a secret sauce? Have they all sipped from the same Kool-Aid? I’ll let you in on one possible secret. They all have great coping skills.
What are coping skills you ask? They’re strategies, plans and simple action steps to take when dealing with stressful situations. Stress is inevitable. Having coping skills is one way to dealing with life in healthier, happier ways. Since we can’t stop stress all together, and none of us are getting out alive, we should at least have a good time! Below you’ll see some strategies from my own life experiences, what the data says, and if you stay to the end, you’ll see a program I’m really proud to share with you.
Thanks for reading!
Dope Way To Cope #1: Have A Friend Or Two On Your Favorites
Do you have a friend that you could talk to about anything? I’m talking like call them in the middle of the night and they’ll be there? If you do, that person needs to be on your favorites/speed dial depending on what age you are 😂.
Here’s what I want you to do right now. Pause reading and: Phone 📱 that friend today – think of 1-2 friends you can call and talk about anything. If you’re going through stress today, call them today.⠀⠀
⠀⠀
If you’re not going through some stress today, call that friend anyway, because they might be going through something and your call helps alleviate that stress for them⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Comment below on what you would say to your friend if they were going through something stressful to help our friends who are struggling with how to start the phone call. Not all of us are amazing communicators so let’s learn from each other and support one another. After all, one of the strongest predictors in health and happiness is a good support system. We all deserve that, don’t you think?
Dope Way To Cope #2: Journaling Is Super Helpful With Coping – Like Doctor Recommended
What Do You Journal About When You’re Stressed? Journal every day at the start or end of the day. Why? Because it’s actually empirically based to help with coping. Check out this empirical article from Kristin Higgins at Murray State University for more info on the benefits of journaling and many other cool coping mechanisms. I especially like the part where she talks about Meditation, diet and exercise 😊 ⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Write below on our favorite journal or routine below ⬇️
Dope Way To Cope #3: Pattern Interruptors Are The Bomb Diggity
What’s Your Favorite Pattern Interruptor? Pattern interruptors are ways to get your mind off of your current negative thought pattern. For example,⠀last summer I took a Money Bootcamp Course from the Lucky Bitch Best Selling Author Denise Duffeld-Thomas out of Australia @denisedt on instagram and facebook.⠀
⠀⠀
Denise would always say to us, “You need to use a pattern interruptor like EFT or Tapping to clear your mind so you can be ready to receive abundance. The NFL uses it right before a game 🏈”⠀⠀
⠀
Sign up for her Money Bootcamp Course Now if you want more abundance in your life. You can use it in your own home in your privacy too! I like’d when she would have us do the body tapping, slowing down, and really diving deep into our money blocks. The class really helped me up level my mindset around money. It also helped me to create practical strategies in increasing my income so I can help more people with my Move Happy Movement.
After having Facebook reach out to me this past April asking for my personal tips on brand growth explosion for other small business owners (after only having my Instagram Channel for 11 months at this point and my Facebook page had a different business name entirely), I can proudly say Denise’s class drastically helped clear the mind junk out to open me up to opportunities for abundance.⠀Now I might be speaking on stage soon telling my story of how Facebook/Instagram has helped me share my Move Happy Mission around the 🌎. I am SO grateful for Denise getting my mindset right first.
⠀⠀
Comment below with some of your favorite pattern interruptors
Dope Way To Cope #4: Sometimes Walking Away Is The Best Coping Strategy
If you’re in a heated discussion, practice walking away so there is no physical violence or hurt feelings. It does take some conversation before it gets to the point of frustration. You definitely don’t want to just walk away angry and not tell the person you care about (insert boss name, parent, child, significant other name here) why you’re walking away.⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Have a conversation first with your loved ones or colleagues on what your max frustration level looks like so you have an opportunity to step away without disrespecting yourself or them.
I learned this strategy first from my mom. Can I be real with Y’all? I was a really angry kid. Like seriously angry. Mom had her issues of control and I didn’t like it. Dad was gone working a lot until I was 11, like gone 6 days a week most weeks, and we had to figure it out ourselves. He was the one paying for the house but I needed him there. I felt frustrated often and didn’t know how to communicate it well. I didn’t know how to deal with my anger very well so I’d usually get to the point of frustration and explode and yell and get sent to my room. A lot. She’s probably laughing 😂 right now reading this because it’s true.
One day, I think maybe I was in 7th or 8th grade and extra moody, mom lifted her nose with her finger. It was the silliest thing and it took me a few heated conversations before I learned what she was doing and bought into it. Soon we’d spread it to the rest of the family if we got too heated and just do a pigs snout if anyone got too sassy 💁♀️. It was pretty comical after a while because what we thought was really important at the time, quickly turned into not so important. We chose family first, relationship first, winning the argument second.
The second person that I learned a similar version of this from was my high school Sunday school/ Youth Pastor Parris Mullen. He explained the importance of having the conversation about walking away from your parents prior to having an argument. He was a really funny and wise man. We listened to him, and I bought into what he was saying because he always explained the ‘why’ behind the ‘what.’ He told us through story format. He explained a time when he was upset with his dad and walked away saying “I need 5 minutes.” His dad and him didn’t talk about it prior to, and during the heated discussion his dad felt he was trying to disrespect his authority by walking away. He got grounded and wasn’t allowed to go to the dance because he didn’t have that conversation first about his maximum stress level.
I encourage you to not be afraid of having tough conversations with your loved ones and co workers today. It’s not about who’s right or who’s wrong. We all have to learn how to live with each other. Can you imagine how amazing life would be if you didn’t have to explain during an argument why you’re going for a cool down walk? If you had the freedom to calm down an argument, prevent a verbal/physical fight just by having a calm conversation prior to any negative events happening?
I just read this interesting and actually quite sad article from China Hospitals. There is a growing epidemic of patient murders of doctors and nurses. There is a correlation between treatment and also this rising gang there. The article states it’s the lack of relationship between the medical staff and the patient, but in many of the cases, the one murdered wasn’t even the doctor or nurse that was involved in that patient’s case. Disturbing right? If you’re not squeamish and over 18, check it out here.⠀⠀
I believe we all can do our part. The news is meant to educate us and it’s up to us in how we interpret it and how we can change the world around us. I believe in taking action specifically to make the world better. I believe there is way too much negativity, violence and pain in the world. A negative comment, according to Les Brown is 16 times more powerful that a positive comment. Let’s all do our part to create more love, more kindness, and go out of our way to make a positive difference. You never know who’s life you could be saving by doing your small part.
⠀⠀
I’d love your thoughts, comments, questions below⠀⠀
Dope Way To Cope #5: If You Lead Groups Then This Is One of The Best Ways To Teach About Coping Strategies
I created the Move Happy Facilitator Program© originally for my patients in a psychiatric hospital setting. I worked in active treatment and co-led the group with a licensed mental health therapist. Before we even started day one, I researched what programs were out there already, I set a goal for myself to help empower my patients to move away from depressed states towards their own happiness and also improve their fitness (assuming they fully participated in my 16 week program) because we had monthly BMI reports from our registered dietician and almost all patients were obese or morbidly obese (like 90%). Something had to be done to change this.
Additionally, I researched what questionnaires were out there and emailed my colleagues for recommended questionnaires to measure my patient’s progress throughout. I was recommended 2 and took a look at them but their length and my patient’s attention span/willingness to respond to questions didn’t match.
What I quickly discovered during my research was that most questionnaires were about 5 pages long and about 60-100 questions. I saw my patients for 45-50 minutes 5 days a week for 16 week semesters. I didn’t want them spending a week filling out the questionnaire at the front of the program and a week at the end. I wanted to get into the content! So I created my own Move Happy Happiness Questionnaire© and Move Happy Fitness Questionnaire© with simple 1-page questions that they could finish in less than 10 minutes appropriate for their age group. This allowed me to add a mid-point measurement that didn’t take much time at all and strengthened the validity and reliability of the data.
I also was mindful of budget during my program development. I asked my supervisor Sue what the budget was for our treatment mall. She told me, “We have $100 to split between the staff [about 15 of us] every month.” So I knew they didn’t have money (like when I taught in the schools, so no biggie). I also asked my colleague who co-led the group with me how much patients had for discretionary income upon discharge of the hospital. She said, “after rent is covered through the state and food stamps/EBT card, they have about $50/month.” So I knew my patients weren’t going to join a gym membership, even if it was only $10 at the YMCA. I had to create something they could use with minimal cost added to them if they left the hospital, and minimal cost to the hospital should they want to continue the program year after year.
This was a big task to create something, but you see I needed a big task to distract my mind. I lost my father on my third day working with the patients (October 5th to be exact). We found out he had cancer again the day I interviewed for the job 7 weeks prior.
I remember telling Sue on my way to the group interview about my dad’s diagnosis. She asked me what stage it was, and at that time we didn’t even know for another two weeks. I had 1 week of orientation training and safety training in an area away from the patients then on my second week of work on a Wednesday, my dad passed away. I remember it was a Wednesday because we had his funeral the following week on his day off. For 19 years dad had Wednesdays and Sundays off, unless Christmas fell on a Monday or something, which was rare. He wanted to have his funeral on his day off so his co-workers didn’t have to miss any work to be able to attend if they wanted.
I took the day off when we found out he passed away and came back to work until the day of the funeral for two reasons. Reason 1) I had just finalized my divorce, spent a lot of money on lawyer and court fees I didn’t actually have (credit cards mostly) and was driving for Uber/Lyft outside of working at the hospital to make ends meet. I was new to working there and hadn’t built up any sick leave. My 2nd reason) I needed a healthy distraction of focusing on caring about my patients to distract me from the pain of reality.
I was in the best possible environment to grieve. My patients went through some pretty horrific things and they exuded compassion and love on a daily basis. I learned so much in those first few months of appreciating life regardless of income or diagnosis, gender, or even age.
Over the course of those months I also was shadowing in other groups. One group in particular was a wellness group. The two ladies that facilitated the group are great people. They didn’t have the 15 years of teaching/group leadership experience that I have in fitness specifically (12 years back then). They ran their group as A/B days. On day A, they watched and participated in a Yoga DVD. On day B, they watched and participated in a walking DVD. The same 2 DVDs every day for 16 weeks and beyond year after year for all I knew. I don’t know about you, but I would get terribly bored watching the same workout videos every day. But I am not judging by any means. Like I said, they didn’t have the background that I had.
I worked as a health and fitness educator in K-12 schools and actually also taught in college fitness classes as part of a graduate assistantship. I also worked with the military in a wellness pilot program as a health educator doing physiological and psychological testing for exercise, diet, behavior change, sleep, etc. My standards of excellence have always been strong. So I decided to create something that I knew would benefit my patients and the hospital, at minimal added cost to keep it mindful whether patients stayed in the hospital long-term or if they got discharged.
So I went to work and designed workouts using American College of Sports Medicine Methods (Cardio, Muscle Fitness, and Flexibility). Every workout had all 3 elements. Every workout was different every day. I had a system for the workouts of what style to expect on each day with options to go out side when the weather was nice if the patients wanted. I ran the program 3 times and each time got feedback from my patients on what they liked, what they didn’t and why, and we measured their fitness/happiness progress throughout. I wanted to see if it would work and if they’d enjoy it. I also participated with my patients in the journaling, group discussion and workouts because I had this theory, if group fitness classes are led by someone who does the workout with their class and that actually is empirically validated to demonstrate a stronger effort level of participants compared to when a facilitator/teacher has their audience participate but doesn’t do it with them, why not I also participate in the group discussion too being as authentic as possible?
What I wasn’t expecting to happen was the patients starting to talk about it to their friends in other areas of the hospital, and in turn those other patients that I never met, walking up to me asking if they could be moved to my hall to be in my group. What I wasn’t expecting was to be given a promotion at the hospital when my supervisor said I wouldn’t even get an interview, and having my colleague cover for me and say “Erin I have to tell you I just love your Move Happy Group. The patients know what to do, they help each other get through the journal prompt so they can start talking and then we all workout together. I love working out too because it helps me improve my health. I’ll sub for you any day.” What I wasn’t expecting to happen was get engaged and it become a violent situation when state budget cuts happened and I lost my promotion that would have covered all my bills and allowed me to not have to work a second job, then have to leave the hospital because my patients were reminding me daily of the engagement by asking me “how my wedding plans were going?” and the pain of the mistake I rushed into shortly after my father passed. What I wasn’t expecting was the challenge of starting all over with almost all of my belongings gone (including my bed, pillow, etc) because I had moved in with my now ex-fiance and I didn’t plan on us ever breaking up. What I wasn’t planning on was one of my patients, a former Marine, and formerly in charge of almost 100-200+ staff in their corporate job telling me, “Erin I could see this on TV, you need to share this with other hospitals.” So much pain and happiness all in the same year. I wasn’t expecting all of this beauty and pain simultaneously. But I am so grateful for it all because it makes my story even more powerful.
Through the course of the following year, I taught myself how to trademark a logo/brand, submitted it for approval without a lawyer because I didn’t have the money to hire one. I found a videographer that’s worked with Macklemore and that loved my story. Sunshine Whitton decided to cut me a deal because he wanted to support my mission. He videoed over 60+ workout demo videos to help me package the program. If you live in the PNW, you can reach out to him for anything technology related as a consultant. Below I list everything included in my program that I designed.
My Move Happy Facilitator Program:⠀⠀
⠀⠀
16 Week Program Includes: ⠀⠀
⠀⠀
📓 Journaling⠀⠀
Group Discussion⠀⠀
Workouts 💪 With Minimal Equipment⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Includes questionnaires for both psychological and fitness that I designed.⠀I also designed the journal questions by weekly topics geared towards moving participants towards their own happiness. The ages in the group were between 20s+-70s. Most of my participants were men because that was the demographic. Most of my patients needed modifications to exercise because they were obese or morbidly obese. I had a few very fit individuals and included modifications on the spot from my years of teaching experience. The 60+ workout demo videos I provide for you include modifications in each workout so you don’t have to come up with it yourself. Keep in mind the workout videos are demo (as in example not complete). The reason for this, I want you to participate with your group, don’t worry about perfection, and don’t ever throw in a DVD or hit play online and sit in the back and watch your group do it without you. I promise you, that will quickly tell them that you don’t care about them, you don’t value fitness, and they shouldn’t either.
I’m excited to report the patients did improve in fitness and in their happiness levels substantially. Of course this wasn’t a double blind study. It could have been run better by having someone not the facilitator measure progress throughout and also do the study in large scale style (multiple hospitals for example). But I wasn’t planning on selling it. My patients on multiple occasions told me I needed to share it. So that’s why I am now.
⠀⠀
I’m so excited to share it with you!⠀For the first ✌️ that order my MHFP, email me your contact info and copy of your receipt and I’m sending you some Move Happy® Swag. To order go here.⠀⠀
⠀⠀
Don’t forget 30% goes back to a mental health organization of your choice and 10% goes to Big Brothers and Big Sisters chapter in your local area. Make sure to include that in your email also (no limit on this donation, this is standard with every Move Happy® purchase for life). ⠀
So there you have it. In order to deal best with life’s stress, one should have coping skills in their back pocket ready to pull out for different situations. These aren’t all the coping skills out there. This is just an introduction to the topic. For a deeper dive, I encourage you to check out the resources in my blog, do your own due diligence on a Google Scholar search or if you’re in University studies now, check your data base.
As always, I love learning more from you and believe that we all can learn from each other. If you’d like to contribute thoughts, questions, or more research on the topic, feel free to email me or comment below so everyone can learn from you.
Extra Special Announcements
✅ The Podcast Move Happy Movement is in full swing! Episode 6 comes out tomorrow! If you haven’t yet checked it out, go here. I’m not sure who’s listening to it because I only have a couple followers. If you want to get notified each time I release it, go ahead and follow me on there. I’m still working on getting it onto iTunes and other platforms. Feel free to message me your favorite way to listen to podcasts and I’ll focus on those channels first!
✅ June is my birthday month and I’m doing random Facebook/Instagram Live Giveaways! To be eligible for a prize you must 1) follow my channels @TheRealMoveHappy, 2) Tune in during the Live and participate in that show. You’ll be entered into a drawing if you participate in the Live version. If you tune in after the fact, I SO appreciate you. My goal is to get more people watching me live and also doing it at random times so it’s fair for my fans from all over the globe in different time zones. The BIG prize you won’t want to miss out on is later in the month closer to my actual birthday. I’m not giving away the exact day because that would ruin the whole surprise 🎁 😊
✅ If you haven’t heard yet, I’ve launched my second biz Erin Nicole Media®. I’m so excited to share my social media content planning strategies with you. It came to my attention that my brand explosion over the course of the last year is somewhat unheard of. Facebook reached out to me and asked me for tips for other small businesses. I was not sure exactly why they reached out to me at first. The nice gal I spoke to explained to me they look at your growth speed, the interactions on your page, the impressions of your posts, the amount of Direct Messaging (DMing) going on, basically the entire package of your profile. She thought I had hired it out. When I told her I do it all minus some organic growth support on my Insta, and work a full time job, she was SO surprised.
A 15-minute convo turned into an hour talk. She was thanking me for sharing everything with her. At the end I had to thank her because I was so honored they recognized me, took the time to call me, and made me feel like a superstar. Since that call, on April 16th of this year to be exact, I’ve had a few questions from fans from all my social media platforms asking for my help with their brand growth. Questions like, “how can I grow my Insta channel like you?” Or “Hey can you give me a shoutout? Your channel is really cool and I think it would help me grow my page.”
I decided to not be stingy with my gift. I’m giving away my strategy in a private group setting. It launches VERY SOON. I can’t tell you when because it would ruin the surprise. In this session, I will be teaching you how to write content for your brand growth from 12-months to 5 years depending on the clarity of your mission and vision. You’ll also have an opportunity to get deeper trainings on all social media platforms (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, LinkedIn, & YouTube) from my team of experts I’ve partnered with (including my brother, famous musician JRICE, access to celebrities that have been on my Podcast already and future ones that I haven’t shared I’m interviewing soon (not to spam them of course but to up level your associations).
If you’re interested in this, email me with the subject heading “Erin Nicole Media University Intensive.” Include your first, last name, and your social media tags (or if you don’t have any yet, create a Facebook profile because that’s where the course will be), what you feel you struggle most with marketing online, how much you’d be willing to pay for the 1 day intensive course, and if you are interested in 1) diving deep on all social media platforms, 2) just want the 12-month to 5 year strategy, 3) want access to celebrity associations, or 4) all of the above.
As always, don’t forget to tell someone you love the today….
Until next week ❤️ 🤗 💕
Recent Comments