People often ask me, how are you always so positive? The answer is, I’m not 😂. I have trained myself over 3 decades to focus on what’s good. Part of that was from my upbringing and being around a very positive mother and father. Dad was gone a lot but when he was home, he would be so ecstatic about the simplest things like going on a hike together or going to church together. Mom is really good about flipping the script and seeing the silver lining in situations. I am a combination of the two of them mixed with my own experiences.
I’ve had a pretty blessed life mixed with some severe tragedy. I had a solid group of adults that were like extended parents/mentors in my upbringing. “Uncle Tim and Rebecca” were visiting or we’d go to their house often. They weren’t blood related but Tim grew up with dad and had been friends with him since he was about 5 years old. He was definitely like a second father to me. I say was, but he’s still kicking in Washington.
Rebecca passed away about 6 months after dad passed. That was a really hard year. My dad was diagnosed with cancer (for the second time) when I interviewed at the psychiatric hospital. I remember telling my soon to be supervisor and she asked what stage, we didn’t even know. 7 weeks later on my 3rd day with the patients in active treatment, he was gone. October 5th to be exact. Rebecca helped mom with the funeral arrangements and whatnot. There were some disagreements as to the plans of the funeral and spiritual disagreements between she and my brother and it was a very stressful time.
Mom kept to herself and grieved very privately. Two weeks before dad passed, I stopped by their house to visit. They were getting ready to take dad to his trial cancer treatment group and my oldest brother’s dog needed to be fed. My oldest brother’s dog was staying at their house.
The dog was tied up in the backyard and had tangled himself with the long chain and couldn’t get to his food/water. He was a very strong pit bull and had never been properly trained. Mom went back there to help and asked me to come with because she didn’t trust the dog. She slipped on something after she untangled him and the dog went to jump on her. She out of safety threw her arm in front to protect herself and collided with the top of his head. It all happened so fast and I heard a pop and heard my mother cry for the first time in my life in sheer panic. I knew she broke her arm on his head. I’m so grateful I was there to help out. Dad had tried to get up from his chair when he heard mom crying outside and fell over sideways from the chair and knocked the light on the floor in the down stairs.
This was a very stressful time and I was trying to make sure mom was okay and run and check on dad because of the loud bang. Even in his weakest moments of life, he loved mom. He wanted to rescue her. To say we were thinking positive things in those moments would be a lie. But we were in it together. I drove them to his doctor’s appointment and it was also the hospital so we were going to get mom’s arm checked out as well. She refused and said she’ll get it checked by her doctor’s office after his treatment (I think she was worried about the ER bill). Mom didn’t complain once but I could tell she was in a lot of pain.
After dad had his infusion treatment I drove dad home and took mom to her doctor to get her arm checked out. Sure enough it was broken and she’d need to have surgery with metal screws. The surgeon only did surgeries on certain days and was booked out for the next week. She had her surgery a few days before the funeral. Talk about a chaotic cluster. Yet everything happens for a reason and mom has never once complained. She kept as positive as she could in my presence at least.
Dad’s funeral was a celebration of his life. Families had been reunited from my father’s hospital stay that hadn’t talked in 20+ years. He had the gift that I learned from of bringing people together. His funeral was on a Wednesday a week after he passed. This was significant because it was the Bread guys day off and all of his co-workers would be able to attend. Every chair was filled and there were people standing in the back. Many of the people there were customers of his from his 35+ years in sales. Dad was the best salesman in the world. People trusted and loved my father. Everyone said what a happy positive guy my dad was.
What people didn’t know about dad was that he suffered from depression. I knew it since I was in college and was taking psychology courses and knew that I struggled with it also. It’s different for men in society though. It’s not as positively talked about. It’s not as acceptable to admit you have mental illness for men.
I worked in a psychiatric hospital with long term stay patients (180 days- 30+ years). 85% of my patients were men. Why? I think it’s because it’s not publicly accepted to get help with your mental illness for men. Most people know it’s hard to get a guy to a doctor let alone a psychologist/psychiatrist. So men wait until he very last minute, and for many of them it’s to the point where it’s court ordered or they spend their entire savings because they lost their spouse, or they lost half their battle buddies overseas and are thinking/planning harmful things of themselves or others. Men were in the hospital I worked in because they needed outside help and waited too long.
My goal with all of my content is to reach and educate men especially on keeping a positive mindset, building strong communities and practicing daily fitness to combat mental illness. My dad worked his ass off for our family and never really had a decent break in life. They got to take a couple vacations once we 3 kids were grown. But his job wore his body down, he had so many dreams he didn’t get accomplished. He passed away too early in my opinion and I think had he opened up more a few decades prior and started taking initiative for his mental health sooner, maybe the cancer wouldn’t have come back a second time. Who knows? I know he is proud of the information I share with you and if he was here, he’d tell you to listen to me.
For this particular blog, it’s all about optimism from real stories, what science tells us, and if you stay to the end I share about a program I developed for my patients in that psych hospital that I am really proud of. I love you all and am honored you’re taking the time to read this.
Truth #1: Practicing Optimism Can Make It Automatic⠀⠀
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Check out this article for tips on practicing optimism and positive thinking in all aspects of life. Let me know which of the 7 tips is your favorite. I especially love #3 and am practicing this one daily with every post I make and the prayer and meditation before I post and share with the world.
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Truth #2: You don’t have to wait for something to happen before you can be optimistic.⠀⠀
Focus on one day at a time today⠀⠀
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I’d love for you to comment below on something you’re optimistic about today (big or small).⠀⠀
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For me, I’m optimistic about my birthday month 🎂 🎁 and feeling healthier than I’ve ever felt before! I’ve gotten into a rhythm of self care in the morning (workout, visualization, meditation, posting my content for you) that’s it’s automatic now. It’s such a simple system now that I’ve gotten into the rhythm that I’m ready to take it to the next level and dream bigger. I am enjoying every minute of every day (whether at my day job or working on my companies).⠀
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Your turn ⬇️ ⠀⠀
Truth #3: Have A Stop Word When Your Mind Wants To Be Pessimistic⠀⠀
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Don’t let a small thing become a big issue. Use a stop word to help you reframe a situation and get your mind back on optimistic thinking. When I get into a funk I will say things like ‘I can’t do that ‘yet” and the word ‘yet’ reminds me that I’m not there today, but it doesn’t mean I won’t ever be there.
Having a stop word can help remove doubt about your situation and provide hope for your future.
What’s your stop word?⠀
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Would love your comments, thoughts below, and let’s keep the conversation friendly⠀⠀
Truth #4: Finding The Silver Lining Is Key⠀⠀
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Today I want you to try and reframe a negative situation into a positive silver lining.⠀⠀
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A couple years ago I went through a divorce, I was laid off unexpectedly, my bank account was emptied out from my ex (illegally), medical insurance canceled (illegally), had 2 roommates (not simultaneously) that were either addicted to drugs and tried to kill me, or pretended to have a job and used me when I was at my lowest. I was stretched beyond what I thought was possible for me.
I had this morning routine that was introduced to me by some of my friends in an online business I was (and still have today). They recommended I read Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning book and join his Facebook Group. Back then (2015) there were about 40,000 people apart of his group online. It was all positive posts, encouragement and advice for free! Now there’s over 200k followers in the group. Talk about WOW!
I started practicing the miracle morning method and was running one morning without any music just to be one with nature. An idea came to me to write a song thanking God for all the shit I was going through. It’s called “Thank you for the trials.” Some of the lyrics go like this: “Thank you for the trials. Thank you for trusting in me. You never give me more than I can handle, you walk with me and catch me when I stumble, thank you for, thank you for, thank you for the trials.”
In our hardest times, in our lowest parts of life, if we can find the silver lining (the meaning of the situation), we’re even better for it. I honestly believe that I grow in the hard times only. Amazing times are times to enjoy, growth happens in the struggle. I’m grateful for all of my struggles because they truly make me better.⠀⠀
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What is a silver lining you’re dealing with today? Comment below ⬇️
Truth #5: Seeking Training Support For Optimism Is Recommended if It’s not your Forte’
My Move Happy Facilitator Program Teaches On Optimism⠀⠀
⠀⠀ It’s a 16-week Program combining:⠀⠀
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📓 Journaling⠀⠀
Group Discussion⠀⠀
Workouts 💪 With Minimal Equipment⠀⠀
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Includes questionnaires for both psychological and fitness that I designed (simple 1-pagers when all other questionnaires were a zillion questions)⠀⠀
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Originally I created this program for my adult patients in a live-in psychiatric hospital (mostly men were there, ages 20s-70s, mostly obese/morbidly obese, but a few fit people so I modified all exercises depending on their ability).⠀⠀
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We specifically went over optimism within the program⠀during journaling and group discussion time.⠀
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Each week has different topics we’d journal about that you can use to move your patients/students/athletes towards their own happiness⠀⠀
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I’m so excited to share it with you!⠀⠀
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For the first ✌️ that order my MHFP, Email Me your contact info and copy of your receipt and I’m sending you some Move Happy® Swag 🎁 to you!⠀⠀
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To order go here.⠀⠀
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For every Move Happy® purchase, 30% is donated back to a mental health organization of your choice and 10% goes to Big Brothers and Big Sisters chapter in your local area.
Let’s work together to make our world 🌎 more beautiful and happier.⠀⠀
Updates and New Move Happy® Info
Podcast 7 will be released tomorrow night! If you haven’t been listening to it, it’s available at here for now. I’m working on getting it on iTunes. It’s all about empowering you to have a stronger mindset, community and fitness strategies from the interview I do with leaders in various industries. I actually sing a little on it also 😃 🎤 🎼 . I release a new episode every Sunday and if you follow my page, it’ll send you a notification when I release it before anyone else finds out!
It’s my birthday month and I’m celebrating by giving away prizes on my Instagram and Facebook during my Livestream sessions. Make sure to follow me on both @TheRealMoveHappy. Some prizes include: signed copy of my first book, 30-minute consultation services, workout plans, and a grand prize later in the month that you’re going to LOVE! 🎉
Move Happy® is going medical! It’s still in the early stages very much so but there has been a huge interest in course trainings from medical professionals that I’m working on getting the VIP Course accredited and into hospitals nation wide. Super excited about this and the partner I’ve been blessed to connect with on this new vertical. If you know anyone that needs continuing education credits that wants to learn more about my group facilitation, feel free to email me subject heading “Move Happy Medical.”
Applications are being sent in very soon for national and international stages. I’ve put this on my dream board for the year back in January. I am honored that Facebook spoke to me about the possibility of speaking on stage and sharing my tips with other small business owners. That conversation alone encouraged me to launch my second company, Erin Nicole Media® where I teach my efficiency system and help small businesses manage their social media marketing content. If you’re wanting to learn my system, email me subject line “Social Media University Intensive.”
As always, my dream of Move Happy® is to prevent depression/depressed states world 🌎 wide. I want everyone, regardless of their economic status, religion, gender, or sexual orientation to have the tools within themselves to move towards their own happiness. I don’t want anyone to feel like they’re in this world alone.
We all deserve happiness. We all deserve to have a healthy set of friends/family to support us. We all deserve to have physically healthy bodies, and I know improving your fitness improves your mindset also.
I’m looking for Move Happy® ambassadors to join my squad and spread the message with me. I can’t do it alone. Won’t you join me on this journey?
So there you have it. Optimism can be something you learn and it also can be something that you’re inclined more towards from the modeling you receive in your upbringing. Having a more optimistic outlook can extend your life, provide you meaningful connections to others, and positively impact your family and work place. I choose daily to be optimistic. Some days are harder than others, but ultimately it’s up to me to decide how long I’m going to allow a ‘bad’ event to impact me. You get that choice too!
If you’re loving what you read and found any value in this today, I’d be honored if you’d share it with a friend or family member and as always…
Don’t forget to tell someone you love them today
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